Feature

Simon Cowell’s dark place

“If I went to a psychiatrist," said Simon Cowell, "it would be a long session."

Simon Cowell may be rich and famous, says Rebecca Hardy in the London Daily Mail, but that doesn’t mean he’s happy. “If I went to a psychiatrist, it would be a long session,” he says. “I get very dark moods for no reason. Nothing in particular brings it on. You can be having the best time of your life and yet you’re utterly and totally miserable. I get very anti-social, depressed, and irritable. I can’t make phone calls and stuff. I just sit on my own for days.” Much of the problem, the unmarried, 49-year-old Cowell suspects, is that he’s a victim of his own success. He helped created the British TV sensations Pop Idol and Britain’s Got Talent, he serves as a judge on American Idol, and he’s got hundreds, maybe even thousands, of employees and ancillary personnel depending on him to launch future stars, generate buzz, and make money. “You have responsibility to lots of people. You can’t think, I want to take the next two months off to clear my head. The last time I felt that way was when I looked at my diary and realized I had the next 18 months planned. I could tell you where I was going to be every day—which city, what time, almost what I was going to eat. That depressed me. I thought, You can’t escape from this. Someone said to me recently, ‘You’re like a human buffet table. Everyone comes and takes something from you and, at the end, there’s nothing left.’”

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