Riding out the recession with Mom and Dad

Faced with high unemployment rates and high debt, adult children are flocking back to Mom and Dad, said Heidi Brown in Forbes. As of 2008, 5 million adults ages 25 to 34 were living with parents, according to the Census Bureau—a dramatic increase from the 4.3 million that did so in 2004. It’s getting so common that any “reunited family” shouldn’t worry about being negatively judged. Yet for the relatives involved, “the situation is rife with conflict”: Young adults may not relish moving back home, and empty-nesters may loathe giving up their “new freedom and sense of privacy.” But any family considering such a living arrangement should be sure to have “candid” conversations about everything from meal planning to house rules—before rearranging any furniture.

It’s not just recent graduates who have to fall back on the parental “safety net,” said Joyce Wadler in The New York Times. Rhoby Schempp, an unlucky 35-year-old entrepreneur, has moved into the guest bedroom of her parents’ Connecticut home. Nan Mooney, a 39-year-old journalist, recently lost a job in San Francisco and found herself back home in Seattle—with her young son. It’s happening all over, and adult children who need help usually struggle to establish a new living dynamic with their parents. Parents should “abstain from parenting.” Adult children, meanwhile, should abstain from acting like kids: Mom isn’t there to make breakfast and pick up after them. The ideal scenario for “intergenerational” living, say experts, would be a separate kitchen and entrance for the long-term houseguests.

When it comes to finances, parents can offer financial support that’s comfortable, “but not too comfortable,” said Beth Kobliner in Money. There’s nothing wrong with charging “token rent.” But if you go that route, consider an initial grace period. Offer your offspring advice for the job hunt, and “encourage” them to start a “move-out fund.” Even if they have high-interest debt, kids should immediately start setting aside money for a place of their own. “That way you might get your empty nest back one day.”

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