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The voices in Swados’ head, Hopkins’ aversion to actors, and why Redford won’t run for office

The voices in Swados’ head

Elizabeth Swados has lived her life on a roller coaster. Outwardly, the Tony-nominated playwright tells O magazine, she functioned at a high level, but in private, she was a manic, frantic mess in the throes of bipolar disorder. “I was talking as fast as an auctioneer, dashing from one activity to another with such intensity that I practically burned rubber,” she says. “Everything, and I mean everything, was vital, essential, and urgent. Weeks of frenetic activity, extreme intellectual and sexual passion.” When she came down, it was as if the bottom had dropped out altogether. “I didn’t know why I had cared so much about what I’d been caring so much about. I felt stupid and clumsy, unworthy, and doomed to a life of meaningless existence.” Buffeted by these two extremes, Swados began to consider suicide as her only escape from a life she found intolerable. “There were too many voices screaming and singing and whispering in my head. So noisy. Finally, they exhausted my will.” Reluctantly, Swados decided to consult a psychiatrist; a combination of therapy and carefully calibrated medication has made her extremes less extreme. “Slowly, I was able to teach myself to ignore the bad voices. I learned to watch myself going through an impulsive or manic action and stop myself.” But there’s been no magic pill that ended the roller-coaster ride altogether. “Nothing has been ‘fixed.’ I am not ‘cured.’ But I do have more good days than bad.”

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