The power of saying 'we're pregnant'

Being pregnant is so much more than just carrying a child for nine months

Pregnant couple.
(Image credit: Image Source / Alamy Stock Photo)

When I press my mother for details on my father's absence from my childhood, she says she can't really remember, only that he wasn't really there, she was all alone, and it was "terrible." From the day I was born (and probably before), my father was physically present, but still largely absent from my life. Even though they were married and they lived together, my mother raised us more or less on her own until, some months after my 18th birthday — when he was legally absolved of financial responsibility — my father moved out of the state, and out of my life.

Many women — those who had involved fathers, and those who did not — feel that, when it comes to having kids of their own, they should broach the topic carefully with men, or risk "scaring them off." After all, it's women who crave babies, right? That's been the narrative for years. Women are the homemakers and the caregivers, while men are little more than the breadwinners. Aside from the act itself of making a baby, they're not particularly essential to the child-rearing process.

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Melissa Petro

Melissa Petro is a freelance writer and writing instructor living in New York City. She has written for Marie Claire, Pacific Standard, New York magazine's The Cut, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Esquire, Jezebel, and many other places.