The Week contest: Vacation rental

This week's question: A tourist who used Airbnb to book a "clean room with private bathroom" in Amsterdam was shocked to discover that his accommodation was a shipping container parked on a sidewalk, equipped with three mattresses and a portable potty. Please come up with a short, catchy slogan that the container's owners could use to advertise their minimalist vacation property.
Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Sports tyrant
RESULTS:
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
THE WINNER: "You'll Barely Contain Yourself"
Lee Silverman, Morgantown, West Virginia
SECOND PLACE: "Home Shipped Home"
Joe Janov, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
THIRD PLACE: "Condo-minimum"
Greg Erickson, Somers, New York
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"When you absolutely, positively have to be there overnight"
David A. Zimmerman, Colorado Springs, Colorado
"No thrills, no frills, and hopefully, no spills"
Ron Buettner, Erie, Pennsylvania
"You'll Have a Crate Stay!"
David Edwards, Tucson, Arizona
"Corrugated, not sophisticated"
Bill Mistele, New York City
"A Crate Deal"
Raven Deerwater, Mendocino, California
"Good Stays Come in Small Boxes"
Kevin Dechant, Franklin, Pennsylvania
"Contain Yourself"
Patty Oberhausen, Fort Wayne, Indiana
"Three Cots and a Pot"
John Whitney, Baileys Harbor, Wisconsin
"Sleep Inside the Box"
Norm Carrier, Flat Rock, North Carolina
-
Could medics' misgivings spell the end of the assisted dying bill?
Today's Big Question The Royal College of Psychiatrists has identified 'serious concerns' with the landmark bill – and MPs are taking notice
-
The Chelsea Townhouse: London luxury feels right at home
The Week Recommends This boutique hotel strikes the right note between sophisticated and cosy
-
What are the different types of nuclear weapons?
The Explainer Speculation mounts that post-war taboo on nuclear weapons could soon be shattered by use of 'battlefield' missiles
-
What happens if tensions between India and Pakistan boil over?
TODAY'S BIG QUESTION As the two nuclear-armed neighbors rattle their sabers in the wake of a terrorist attack on the contested Kashmir region, experts worry that the worst might be yet to come
-
Why Russia removed the Taliban's terrorist designation
The Explainer Russia had designated the Taliban as a terrorist group over 20 years ago
-
Inside the Israel-Turkey geopolitical dance across Syria
THE EXPLAINER As Syria struggles in the wake of the Assad regime's collapse, its neighbors are carefully coordinating to avoid potential military confrontations
-
'Like a sound from hell': Serbia and sonic weapons
The Explainer Half a million people sign petition alleging Serbian police used an illegal 'sound cannon' to disrupt anti-government protests
-
The arrest of the Philippines' former president leaves the country's drug war in disarray
In the Spotlight Rodrigo Duterte was arrested by the ICC earlier this month
-
Ukrainian election: who could replace Zelenskyy?
The Explainer Donald Trump's 'dictator' jibe raises pressure on Ukraine to the polls while the country is under martial law
-
Why Serbian protesters set off smoke bombs in parliament
THE EXPLAINER Ongoing anti-corruption protests erupted into full view this week as Serbian protesters threw the country's legislature into chaos
-
Who is the Hat Man? 'Shadow people' and sleep paralysis
In Depth 'Sleep demons' have plagued our dreams throughout the centuries, but the explanation could be medical