Why I bristled at becoming a 'wife'

Call me a wife. But don't call me a ball and chain.

A married couple.
(Image credit: Illustrated | George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images)

As of this week, my husband and I will have celebrated 10 Valentine's Days together. At some point in the evening, he'll reach across the table and motion for me to take his hand. "I'm so glad we're married," he'll say. "I'm so glad you're my wife." And I'll think, again, about how odd that word feels as it lands on my shoulders.

Before we got hitched, I hadn't thought terribly hard about taking on the label of "wife." I was mostly just excited to marry this person I loved. For the first few days afterward, he and I reveled in our new titles, finding ways to work them into every conversation. "Yes, my WIFE will be joining us for dinner." "This is my HUSBAND, have you two met?"

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Zoe Fenson

Zoe Fenson is a freelance writer based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her writing has appeared in Longreads, Narratively, The New Republic, and elsewhere. When she's not writing, you'll find her doing crossword puzzles in cocktail bars or playing fetch with her cat.