The daily gossip: April 1, 2020

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1. Celebrities didn't get the memo that April Fools' Day is canceled
2. Colton Underwood says being on The Bachelor helped him discover he's straight
3. Sophie Turner is also enjoying getting 'drunk at home' during quarantine
4. Larry David urges fans to stay indoors because 'nothing good ever happens going out of the house'
5. John Mayer's absurdly catchy 'Drone Shot of My Yacht' is the coronavirus song we deserve

published 1 April 2020

1. Celebrities didn't get the memo that April Fools' Day is canceled

Nobody is in the mood for April Fools' Day this year, but celebs apparently didn't get the memo. For the annual prankster holiday, Public Enemy's Chuck D came forward to announce that firing Flavor Flav in early March was actually an "April Flav Chuck Day" joke. Meanwhile, Jaejoong, a member of the K-pop group JYJ, got himself into hot water when he pretended to have coronavirus, briefly terrifying his fans. Lil' Nas X, the first openly gay black musician to win at the Country Music Awards for "Old Town Road," also pulled off a prank of his own, tweeting "I was never gay." Shortly thereafter, he followed it up with: "Ok I'm gay again."

Colton Underwood, the Bachelor Nation contestant best known for admitting he was a virgin on Becca Kufrin's season of The Bachelorette and jumping a fence on his season of The Bachelor, can now add "published author" to his resume. In his new book, The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV, Underwood describes how his appearance on The Bachelor helped him better understand his sexuality. "[The show taught me] that I'm straight and I'm very, very attracted to Cassie [Randolph] and women," Underwood told Entertainment Tonight, naming his girlfriend and the winner of his season. "But it would have been okay if it would have been the other way too. I think that's the biggest message I have for people."

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Sophie Turner and her husband Joe Jonas are the definition of quarantine goals. Appearing via video chat on Conan at Home on Tuesday night, the Game of Thrones actress admitted she doesn't "understand how people are really struggling to practice social distancing" when she is "kind of loving" it. "All you have to do is stay at home and get drunk at home," Turner raved. She added that while Jonas has taken up DJing on Instagram Live, "it's fun! I pour him his drinks. I pour him his alcohol. I give him tequila shots. He'll text me and be like, 'What time is it?' I'll reply from the kitchen, 'Shot time,' and bring him a shot of tequila."

Comedian Larry David has a message for all the "idiots out there" who are squandering an amazing excuse to stay inside. "You're passing up a fantastic opportunity," the Curb Your Enthusiasm creator said in a coronavirus PSA that was shared by the California governor's office. "A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to stay in the house, sit on the couch, and watch TV. I don't know how you're passing that up." David added that "if you've seen my show, nothing good ever happens going out of the house. You know that. There's just trouble out there." And frankly, if Larry David shouting "go home! Watch TV! That's my advice to you!" won't convince you to stay indoors, I don't know what will.

Everyone wants to write the great coronavirus anthem but — apologies to Bono — there can only be one John Mayer. On his Instagram Live program this weekend, Mayer premiered a parody song called "Drone Shot of My Yacht," in which he skewers billionaires sitting out the pandemic on their luxury boats. Mayer reposted a minute-long version later in the week. "This weekend's 'Not Now' goes to David Geffen, who posted an Instagram photo of himself on his boat saying he was isolated in the Grenadines," Mayer said of his inspiration. "And I gotta tell you, I don't know where the Grenadines are. The most offensive thing to me in this post is assuming that I know where the Grenadines are." Listen here.

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Jeva Lange was the executive editor at TheWeek.com. She formerly served as The Week's deputy editor and culture critic. She is also a contributor to Screen Slate, and her writing has appeared in The New York Daily News, The Awl, Vice, and Gothamist, among other publications. Jeva lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter.