Welsh Buttocks, Liquid Crack and Dog Tits Bakery were just three of the proposed company names turned down by Companies House last year.

A freedom of information request seen by the Financial Times's Alphaville blog showed that Companies House vetoed nearly 800 suggested names in the year to April 2023 because they might offend a "reasonable person".

Which names were banned?
The "naughty list" includes Crappy Nappy, Scorpio Bastardo, The People's Dankest Cannabis Company and the rather lengthy I Could Tell that My Parents Hated Me. My Bath Toys Were a Toaster and a Radio. The "vast majority" of the banned names involved "swear words, sex-related obscenities or drugs", and other rejected names featured references to "hacking, paedophilia, violence or hate speech" such as "racism, sexism and homophobia".

Companies House said that all applications are "carefully considered", but that any name "considered offensive" will not be registered.

What other naming rules are there?
A proposed name cannot be the "same as" or "too similar to" that of another registered company. Nor can it suggest a connection with government or local authorities, unless permission has been granted – for instance, to use "Accredited" in a company's name, permission is needed from the Department for Business and Trade.

What about scammers?
In February, celebrity chef Heston Blumenthal publicly called for Companies House to act with greater urgency in tackling fraud, after a company was registered with the name "Dinner by Heston Blumenthall" (adding an extra "l" to the surname).

Companies House had vowed last year to crack down on criminals who abuse the register, after the Mail on Sunday revealed that the names of tens of thousands of people had been used by fraudsters to set up companies and then take out loans or con consumers. At least 80 fake companies were registered to properties in a single street in Leigh-on-Sea in Essex.

In an article for the newspaper's This is Money, then business minister Kevin Hollinrake said he had heard "terrible stories" of people who "find themselves unwittingly appointed as directors of bogus firms they've never even heard of".

Indian power couple Anant Ambani and Radhika Merchant are tying the knot in the "mother of all weddings" this weekend, said the BBC.

Billionaire Mukesh Ambani, India's richest man, is reportedly spending "upwards of $600 million" (£463 million) to give his son and pharmaceutical heiress Merchant what is believed to be the most expensive nuptials in history, said The Guardian. 

'Largesse lavished on guests'
Months of partying in preparation have already cemented the family's status as the "Windsors of India", said Leher Kala, a society writer for the Indian Express. This weekend's wedding ceremony,  in Mumbai, will be a "statement that the Ambanis have arrived: not just in India, but globally".

The young couple got engaged in December 2023 in a "low key" proposal, but have been celebrating since January, "averaging an event every six weeks", said CNN. One featured "choreographed Bollywood-style dancing, fireworks and a feast cooked by 100 chefs". A "communal dinner" was also laid on for "more than 50,000 villagers".

The largesse of the Ambani family has been "lavished upon their guests", said GQ India. A "gilded list" of gifts has featured private jet travel, designer bags and gold chains, and a lucky few were taken on a luxury cruise in the Tyrrhenian Sea.

The details of the three-day wedding ceremony have been mostly kept under wraps, but "one thing is certain", said CNN. "There will be no expense spared."

'Biggest stars'
The Mumbai wedding has attracted a "glittering list of 1,200 guests", said The Telegraph, including Prime Minister Narendra Modi, Bill Gates, Mike Tyson, Kim Kardashian and many of Bollywood's "biggest stars". A host of music megastars have also descended during the months of celebrations. Rihanna, Justin Bieber and Katy Perry have all made headlines – and millions – performing at the pre-wedding events.

As the Ambanis now gear up for the headline event, this weekend's festivities have already "caused chaos", said The Independent, with "traffic restrictions" bringing India's financial capital to a grinding halt.

The scale of this "big fat Indian wedding", said the BBC, has caused widespread controversy in India, where "tens of millions live below the poverty line" amid extreme "income inequality".

Bristol: Sutton Court, Stowey, Pensford
A first-floor flat in a 15th-century country estate, part of which is now the Folly Farm nature reserve. Illustrious former occupants of this property include Winston Churchill. Main suite, 1 further bed, shower, kitchen, 2 receps, garden, tennis court, garage. OIEO £500,000; Fine & Country

Kent: The Oast House, Otford
A 19th-century twin oast set in mature gardens. 5 beds, 2 baths, 3 showers, kitchen, 5 receps, 3-bed annexe, tennis court, parking. £3.75m; Savills

Scottish Borders: Yetholmlaw House, Kelso
Modern, architecturally designed house in a secluded setting overlooking the Cheviot Hills. 5 beds, 3 baths, 1 shower, kitchen/dining room, 4 receps, tennis court, garden, parking. OIEO £1.225m; Paton & Co

Suffolk: Southolt, Eye
Handsome timbered house. 5 beds, 2 baths, 2 showers, kitchen, 4 receps, swimming pool, tennis court, garden (plus 3 acres), barn, parking. £1.5m; Savills

Voters told Tories to stop shouting from the wreckage – but Suella Braverman missed the memo
Harry Cole in The Sun
That voters have told the Tories to "go away and shut up" is clear to "everyone except Suella Braverman", writes Harry Cole. The former home secretary has "attacked" Rishi Sunak "and her former Cabinet colleagues", declared "war on her former officials" and "sparked a massive row about the trans flag". If Tory leadership contenders "really want to survive", they should "stop shouting" and "start talking".

Water companies: No Bail-Out
The Times editorial board
"Water is a simple business", says The Times, but our water industry, "aided and abetted" by Britain's "worst regulator", has "signally failed". Bills will "have to rise" but the "cost of what may be coming next" should not fall on the taxpayer when the industry is "the author of its own woes". An emergency rescue must involve "no reimbursement of shareholders or lenders", because "socialism for the rich is unacceptable".

Just Stop Oil Has Declared Victory. What Now?
Richard Hames on Novara Media
Just Stop Oil is "the Millwall FC chant ('No one likes us, we don't care') made flesh", writes Richard Hames. But now the group "claims it's won". The activists had "one key demand: no new oil and gas licences", and the new government is promising both. But "questions remain" about the group's methods and  whether the "backlash it's triggered" will "make nonviolent civil resistance in the UK ever-harder".