Many women enter my clinic in the run-up to Christmas with the same problem, said GP Amir Khan in a video that went viral on Instagram this week: they feel exhausted, numb and are struggling to cope. These women are suffering “Christmas burnout”, or “biology colliding with social pressure”, notably the “huge expectation to make Christmas magical”.
‘Third shift’ Hearing Khan’s message “felt like he was reading my mind”, said Kerrie Hughes in Woman & Home. Many of us spend the festive season stuck “navigating illness with kids, plans changing” and “the ever-looming feeling that I still have so much to get ready for Christmas”.
“Forget tidings of great joy, Christmas just gives women an endless to-do list,” said Rachel O’Dwyer in The Irish Times. As calendars flip to December, women are expected to take on a “third shift”. If the first shift is the “invisible, endless, heavily gendered work of keeping family life upright”, and the second is “unpaid domestic and care work” along with their actual jobs, the “third shift” is the “mental load of seasonal admin”. Whether “planning social engagements” and “remembering thank-you notes” or “tracking nativity plays and pantomime tickets”, we are “keeping the whole sleigh on the road”.
‘Kindness rather than criticism’ “Behind every magical Christmas moment there’s generally a dog-tired, stressed-out mum,” said Lucy Denyer in The Telegraph. The irony is that, as we drive ourselves mad trying to create the perfect Christmas, our loved ones “often get the brunt of the resentment, exhaustion and rage”.
Many women in mid-life also underestimate how much oestrogen “shapes the brain”, said Dr Punam Krishan in The i Paper. The hormone’s job is to regulate “mood, memory, stress tolerance, sensory processing and sleep”, all of which are tested during the festive period. My advice to them is to show yourself “kindness rather than criticism”. If Christmas feels like a struggle, you are not weak or failing. “It means your system was overwhelmed in a season designed to overwhelm.”
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