The Week contest: Object attraction

This week's question: An American competitive archer says she is "objectum sexual," or sexually attracted to inanimate objects. She claimed to marry the Eiffel Tower in 2007; now she says she deeply desires a geometrically "perfect'' wooden fence. If she were to write a memoir, what should she call it?

Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Payola art

RESULTS:

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THE WINNER: "Material Girl"

Larry Rifkin, Glastonbury, Connecticut

SECOND PLACE: "The Thing and I"

Joan Katine, Delray Beach, Florida

THIRD PLACE: "Love is a Many-Splintered Thing"

Bill Levine, Belmont, Massachusetts

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

"Edifice Complex''

Lynn Shemanski, Seattle, Washington

"Sex a Fence"

Rick Torrence, The Village, Oklahoma

"Picket to Paradise"

Ken Stacy, Lafayette, Indiana

"Treating Objects Like Women"

Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Virginia

"Good Fences Make Good Lovers"

Amy Torchinsky, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

"So I Married an Axe"

Andrea Carla Michaels, San Francisco, California

"Please, Fence Me In"

Carolyn Gill, Redlands, California

"Lookin' for Some Hot Stuff"

Laura Moran Walton, South Bend, Indiana

"Love: It Does Mean A Thing"

Lidia Zidik, Reading, Pennsylvania

"Quiver Me Timbers"

Suzie Fraser, Whitesboro, New York

"A Moving Target Is Hard to Hit (on)"

Edward Hicks, Oconomowoc, Wisconsin

"Sex and the Single Object"

Deloris Mayuga, Long Beach, California

"Eiffel for You"

Jack Boucher, Petaluma, California

"Wooded Bliss"

Pamela Ebert, Stanton, California