Speed Reads

John Oliver gets excited

John Oliver takes sides on the traditional presidential turkey pardon: 'Death to turkeys!'

John Oliver hates cranberry sauce. But in new Last Week Tonight video on Sunday, he disclosed that he loves turkey. He's ostensibly discussing the "strangest Thanksgiving tradition," turkey pardoning. Each year, President Obama, like every other modern president, pardons one turkey — out of the 46 million that Americans (including the president) will eat on Thanksgiving Day.

Presidents should either pardon all turkeys, or put them all on trial, Oliver says. "It would be an open-and-shut case, because let's be honest here: Every single turkey is guilty," he added. "Specifically, guilty of having delicious bird parts that should be serving time in the prison of my mouth." He then has a dare for Obama, and ends by chanting "Death to turkeys!" Nobody tell Oliver that Seattle Mayor Ed Murray just pardoned a Tofurkey, because that's a whole segment in itself — and he's on hiatus until February. --Peter Weber