Speed Reads


Stephen Colbert and George Takei scheme to get you to care about the looming midterms

The 2014 midterms are the most expensive yet, costing $4 billion, and few people are paying attention. "It's like the Lone Ranger of elections," said Stephen Colbert on Thursday night's Colbert Report. While watching CNN coverage of the midterms, he said — "I ran out of Ambien" — he flipped over to a rerun of Star Trek, and inspiration struck. The idea involves having a computer decide the election, and disintegrating piles of cash — but what emerged was Sulu.

"I overheard your plan, and its madness," said George Takei, from inside Colbert's Disintaporter 6700. "Only by engaging more deeply in the issues and voting your conscience can hope to move beyond the eternal gridlock that threatens to destroy our society. No matter how bleak things may seem, you have the power to change them. Do your duty as an American, and as a citizen of the galaxy: Vote!" Stirring words. Colbert was unimpressed. Then again, he wasn't the intended audience. --Peter Weber