Garrison Keillor eviscerates Donald Trump in brutal open letter

(Image credit: Tim Boyle/Getty Images)

last updated 2 September 2016

"The cap does not look good on you," writes former Prairie Home Companion host and radio personality Garrison Keillor, issuing a direct rebuke straight to Donald Trump's brim-shadowed face. In a scathing open letter to the Republican nominee, distributed by The Washington Post, Keillor imagines Trump's greatest insecurities, portraying the 2016 presidential race as the Queens-born real estate mogul's "last bid for the respect of Manhattan."

Needless to say, Keillor does not pull punches:

What the fans don't know is that it's not much fun being a billionaire. You own a lot of big houses and you wander around in them, followed by a waiter, a bartender, a masseuse, three housekeepers, and a concierge, and they probably gossip about you behind your back. Just like nine-tenths of your campaign staff. You're losing and they know it and they're telling mean stories about you to everybody and his brother. [Garrison Keillor, via Chicago Tribune]