"The cap does not look good on you," writes former Prairie Home Companion host and radio personality Garrison Keillor, issuing a direct rebuke straight to Donald Trump's brim-shadowed face. In a scathing open letter to the Republican nominee, distributed by The Washington Post, Keillor imagines Trump's greatest insecurities, portraying the 2016 presidential race as the Queens-born real estate mogul's "last bid for the respect of Manhattan."
Needless to say, Keillor does not pull punches:
What the fans don't know is that it's not much fun being a billionaire. You own a lot of big houses and you wander around in them, followed by a waiter, a bartender, a masseuse, three housekeepers, and a concierge, and they probably gossip about you behind your back. Just like nine-tenths of your campaign staff. You're losing and they know it and they're telling mean stories about you to everybody and his brother. [Garrison Keillor, via Chicago Tribune]
"When this is over, I will have nothing that I want," Keillor imagines a dejected Trump thinking. Read the entire, brutal letter here.
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
Conservative megadonors build a new bank thanks to Trump administration approvalIN THE SPOTLIGHT With a Lord Of The Rings-inspired name, and the backing of some of the biggest GOP financiers around, Erebor Bank is set to make major waves in the crypto world
-
Political cartoons for October 20Cartoons Monday’s political cartoons include a $40 billion bailout for Argentina, Prince Andrew's titles, chaos at the CDC, and more
-
From Da Vinci to a golden toilet: a history of museum heistsIn the Spotlight Following the ‘spectacular’ events at the Louvre, museums are ‘increasingly being targeted by criminal gangs’
-
DOJ indicts John Bolton over classified filesSpeed Read Continuing the trend of going after his political enemies, Trump prosecutes his former national security adviser
-
Trump, Putin set summit as Zelenskyy lands in DCSpeed Read Trump and Putin have agreed to meet in Budapest soon to discuss ending the war in Ukraine
-
Courts deal setbacks to Trump’s Chicago operationsSpeed Read President Donald Trump cannot deploy the National Guard in Illinois
-
Pentagon reporters turn in badges after refusing rulesSpeed Read They refused to sign a restrictive new press policy imposed by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth
-
Supreme Court points to gutting Voting Rights Actspeed read States would no longer be required to consider race when drawing congressional maps
-
Trump says he authorized covert CIA ops in VenezuelaSpeed Read He is also considering military strikes inside the country
-
‘Vile, racist’ leaked chats roil Young RepublicansSpeed Read Leaders of Young Republican groups made racist, antisemitic and violent comments in private chats
-
Trump ties $20B Argentina bailout to Milei votesspeed read Trump will boost Argentina’s economy — if the country’s right-wing president wins upcoming elections
