"The cap does not look good on you," writes former Prairie Home Companion host and radio personality Garrison Keillor, issuing a direct rebuke straight to Donald Trump's brim-shadowed face. In a scathing open letter to the Republican nominee, distributed by The Washington Post, Keillor imagines Trump's greatest insecurities, portraying the 2016 presidential race as the Queens-born real estate mogul's "last bid for the respect of Manhattan."
Needless to say, Keillor does not pull punches:
What the fans don't know is that it's not much fun being a billionaire. You own a lot of big houses and you wander around in them, followed by a waiter, a bartender, a masseuse, three housekeepers, and a concierge, and they probably gossip about you behind your back. Just like nine-tenths of your campaign staff. You're losing and they know it and they're telling mean stories about you to everybody and his brother. [Garrison Keillor, via Chicago Tribune]
"When this is over, I will have nothing that I want," Keillor imagines a dejected Trump thinking. Read the entire, brutal letter here.
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
The rise in unregulated pregnancy scansUnder The Radar Industry body says some private scan clinics offer dangerously misleading advice
-
Democrats seek 2026 inspiration from special election routsIN THE SPOTLIGHT High-profile wins are helping a party demoralized by Trump’s reelection regain momentum
-
Film reviews: ‘Bugonia,’ ‘The Mastermind,’ and ‘Nouvelle Vague’feature A kidnapped CEO might only appear to be human, an amateurish art heist goes sideways, and Jean-Luc Godard’s ‘Breathless’ gets a lively homage
-
Has Zohran Mamdani shown the Democrats how to win again?Today’s Big Question New York City mayoral election touted as victory for left-wing populists but moderate centrist wins elsewhere present more complex path for Democratic Party
-
Senate votes to kill Trump’s Brazil tariffSpeed Read Five Senate Republicans joined the Democrats in rebuking Trump’s import tax
-
Border Patrol gets scrutiny in court, gains power in ICESpeed Read Half of the new ICE directors are reportedly from DHS’s more aggressive Customs and Border Protection branch
-
Shutdown stalemate nears key pain pointsSpeed Read A federal employee union called for the Democrats to to stand down four weeks into the government standoff
-
Trump vows new tariffs on Canada over Reagan adspeed read The ad that offended the president has Ronald Reagan explaining why import taxes hurt the economy
-
NY attorney general asks public for ICE raid footageSpeed Read Rep. Dan Goldman claims ICE wrongly detained four US citizens in the Canal Street raid and held them for a whole day without charges
-
Trump’s huge ballroom to replace razed East WingSpeed Read The White House’s east wing is being torn down amid ballroom construction
-
Trump expands boat strikes to Pacific, killing 5 moreSpeed Read The US military destroyed two more alleged drug smuggling boats in international waters
