Late night hosts wrap together Biden's Russian oil ban, McDonald's Russian 'no-fry zone,' gas prices

published 9 March 2022

"Normally I'm against electing comedians to political office, and keep in mind, I ran for president twice," Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. But his new "comedy idol," Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky "is inspiring the world with his courage in the face of the Russian invasion, and last night he took his bravery to a whole new level of badassery," declaring from his office he is not going anywhere and isn't afraid of anyone, despite several assassination attempts. Colbert tried a similarly courageous declaration, kind of.

"Zelensky has begged the Western powers to ramp up the economic pain on Russia, and this morning, Joe Biden dished out the biggest dose yet," Colbert said. "Take that, Vlad! America doesn't need your klepto-crude. America is perfectly happy to stay home and frack ourselves blind." Meanwhile, "more and more companies are saying nyet to doing business in Russia — the latest is McDonald's," he said. "Yes, Russia just became a no-fry zone."

"Today, McDonald's announced that it was closing all 850 of its restaurants in Russia," Jimmy Fallon said on The Tonight Show. "Yeah, we don't want their oil, and they can't have our grease. Not to be outdone, Arby's announced that they're punishing Russia by staying open." The U.S. oil embargo, though, "is devastating for Russia — now their biggest export is bad guys in John Wick movies," he joked. "Of course, we've got to get oil from somewhere else, which is why today Biden looked at Rudy Giuliani and was like, 'Let's get you in the sauna, buddy.'"

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Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.