Meet Inorie Aizawa, Microsoft's new mascot. According to her Facebook page — yes, a real thing — Miss Aizawa is the "anime personification of Internet Explorer." Her brief autobiography:

When I was younger, I used to be a clumsy, slow, and awkward girl. However, just like the story of ugly duckling, people told me that I have really matured and changed over the years. I feel confident in my abilities now, and I'm eager to show you what I can do. [Facebook]

Now watch Inorie Aizawa starring in a new Microsoft ad. As you can tell, it's a bit of an outlier from other tech commercials. For one thing, it is animated. It is also insane.

The robots represent... malware? I guess that makes her magical medallion an anti-virus shield.

Also, if the mechanized bad guys are shooting lasers at her, why doesn't she just stay in her cyberpunk Sailor Moon armor all the time? Why doesn't she just use her multi-touchscreen finisher blast from the very beginning and save herself from all that exhausting hand-to-hand combat?

Also, there is a cat at the end, lest there be any lingering confusion about who the ad's intended demographic is.

Nice Lumia! (via Facebook)

One thing is clear: IE was in dire need of an image makeover, and this, um, certainly counts. Will it convince geeky internet users to make the switch from Chrome?

I, for one, am de-activating all my Google accounts and burning all my Apple stuff immediately.