1. Psy's "Gentleman" is bigger than Justin Bieber
For months, critics have been referring to Korean singer Psy, who went viral with last summer's inescapable "Gangnam Style," as a one-hit wonder. Clearly, they were wrong. After being on YouTube for less than a week, Psy's "Gangnam Style" follow-up, "Gentleman," has amassed over 120 million views. According to E! Online, the "Gentleman" video was viewed 18.9 million times in the first 24 hours it was posted, smashing the 10.6 million views earned by the Justin Bieber/Nicki Minaj collaboration "Beauty and a Beat" in its first 24 hours last October. Rolling Stone adds that the "Gentleman" video includes a woman "who gets a whiff of what's inside Psy's pants at a library," so anyone who can't live without seeing that for themselves should join the millions who have already watched the "Gentleman" video as soon as possible.

2. Sorry, the Friends reunion isn't happening
If yesterday was a Friends episode, it would have been titled "The One Where Everyone Gets Really Excited About a Possible Friends Reunion." But alas, some things really are too good to be true. Us Weekly reports that Friends co-creator Marta Kauffman has debunked rumors of a reunion. "I'm going to clear this up right now — no, it's not happening!" said Kauffman, which does sound pretty definitive. So for David Schwimmer's sake, let's hope DreamWorks keeps churning out Madagascar movies. 

3. Britney Spears promises her Smurfs 2 song will be "Smurftastic"
Just when you thought your anticipation for this summer's The Smurfs 2 couldn't get any more breathless: According to Access Hollywood, Britney Spears will perform a new song titled "Ooh La La" for the sequel, which will play over the film's end credits. "I have always loved the Smurfs as a kid and now my boys are the biggest Smurfs fans EVER," said Spears in a statement, adding, "I wanted to surprise them with a song in the movie. I know they'l think it's Smurfastic!" Spears' statement gives absolutely no indication as to whether "Smurftastic" is a good or a bad thing, so in this spirit of the sequel, we'll just say that a Smurfs-themed Britney Spears song sounds absolutely Smurf-y to us.

4. The 2013 Oscar producers have been rehired for next year's ceremony
Demonstrating the kind of inexplicable decision-making that leads to something like an awkward, seemingly endless William Shatner cameo, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has rehired Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, who produced this year's widely criticized Oscar ceremony, to produce the Oscars in 2014. "We believe that continuity is the most important thing," said Academy president Howard Koch, who apparently places "quality" and "tastefulness" further down the list. Though The Guardian says that Seth MacFarlane has already stated that he won't return as host, Oscar viewers can presumably look forward to more of the same from Zadan and Meron — including, we can only hope, another long, pointless tribute to themselves. 

5. Don't worry, everyone — The Cleveland Show isn't canceled yet
On Wednesday morning, members of the Animation Guild reported that Fox's The Cleveland Show — the animated comedy by Seth MacFarlane that isn't Family Guy or American Dad, and that pretty much everybody had forgotten existed — had been put out of its misery by Fox. But the 12 remaining Cleveland Show fans don't need to start a Kickstarter for the series just yet; according to Entertainment Weekly, Fox "says they haven't officially made a decision" on The Cleveland Show, even though the network already renewed every other series in its animation block months ago. Until Fox makes an official decision on the series, TV viewers are encouraged to treat The Cleveland Show the same way they always have, by totally ignoring it.