1. Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn are dating
Anyone who wasn't in a coma three years ago probably remembers that time when it turned out that Tiger Woods had been cheating on his then-wife Elin Nordegren with more than a dozen women. But the story that spawned a million "hole in one" jokes may have a new ending: According to Yahoo! News, Woods has finally entered into another committed relationship, this time with Olympic gold medalist Lindsey Vonn. "We want to continue our relationship, privately, as an ordinary couple," said Woods in a statement that went out to millions of people.

2. Actually, Emma Watson won't star in the Fifty Shades of Grey movie
The internet was abuzz last week over reports that Harry Potter star Emma Watson would find herself in bondage chains, with nary an unlocking spell to save her, in the upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey adaptation. But according to the Daily News, reports of Watson's willingness to star in a sadomasochistic film trilogy originally based on Twilight fan fiction have been greatly exaggerated. "Who here actually thinks I would star in a 50 Shades of Grey movie? Like really. For real. In real life," tweeted Watson, even though last week proved that the answer is pretty much everyone. With Watson officially out of the running, we can all go back to what we were doing before: Bugging Mila Kunis about the Fifty Shades of Grey movie.

3. Questlove says that Justin Timberlake will release another album in November
Good news for anyone who thinks Justin Timberlake has been a little too underexposed lately: The pop star's next full-length album may be ready as soon as November. According to BuzzFeed, producer Questlove recently wrote "spoiler alert. 20/20 Vol 2 comes out in nov. (10 songs now…..10 songs later = 20/20 vision)," simultaneously demonstrating his expertise in both corrective lenses and hacky naming conventions.

4. Marilyn Manson throws smoke bomb at Spring Breakers premiere party
When you're as cool and edgy as Marilyn Manson, you're always looking for ways to liven up a boring event like a Los Angeles premiere party for Spring Breakers. And apparently, that includes petty vandalism. As Manson left the party, the not-so-shocking shock rocker threw a smoke bomb out the window of his car, requiring a firefighter to show up and make sure the scene was safe. "Apparently it's [Manson's] signature move," says a source at the New York Post, somehow failing to recognize that Manson's "signature move" was actually cribbed from fellow rebels like Bart Simpson and Dennis the Menace.

5. You can buy Jesse Pinkman's car from Breaking Bad
It's generally considered a bad thing when a used car has been owned by a junkie — but when that junkie is Breaking Bad protagonist Jesse Pinkman, it's an entirely different story. TMZ reports that the 1984 Toyota Tercel driven by Aaron Paul's character on the popular AMC drama will be sold to the highest bidder by the New Mexico dealership that originally leased it to the production. The car's reported value is $500, but the car is expected to go for a much higher price because of its association with the series — and not, we presume, because of all the blue meth stashed inside.