1. Jon Stewart vows to never have Hugh Grant on The Daily Show again
Jon Stewart isn't known for mincing words, but The Daily Show host was even blunter when it came to discussing his all-time least favorite guest: Hugh Grant. The Hollywood Reporter says that Stewart called Grant "a pain in the ass" during a recent fundraiser with Stephen Colbert, explaining that Grant hated the "terrible clip" The Daily Show picked to help promote his 2009 flop Did You Hear About the Morgans? "Well, then make a better fucking movie," said Stewart, unintentionally summarizing virtually every review of the film.

2. ABC developing comedy based on the life of Justin Bieber
If there's one belief that unites all Americans, it's the feeling that we just don't have enough Justin Bieber in our lives. Fortunately for all of us, ABC is here to help. The network has ordered a script for a possible half-hour comedy based on the singer's life, says The Hollywood Reporter, which would focus on Bieber's "unconventional upbringing" as a young man being raised by his mother and grandparents — a wise choice, since absolutely nothing of interest has happened in his life since then.

3. Kristen Stewart not planning to quit acting
Rest easy, everybody: The Twilight series may be over, but Kristen Stewart isn't going anywhere. E! Online asked the question on no one's lips when a reporter queried whether Stewart would consider leaving the spotlight — because it's totally normal for a 22-year-old to retire in the prime of her career. "Oh man, I really love my job," said Stewart. "I would not give it up." So that's settled.

4. Casablanca piano sells for $602,500
If you've seen Casablanca, the 1942 classic commonly regarded as the greatest film of all time, you must remember the piano played by Sam in the cafe owned by Rick Blaine, the character played by Humphrey Bogart. Well, The Huffington Post reports that the piano was recently sold to an unidentified buyer for a whopping $602,500, who can now play it again (and again and again). So never fear, Casablanca fans: We'll always have the knowledge that it's sitting in the room of some private collector.

5. Kerry Washington learned German for Django Unchained
As Oscar season rolls along, Daniel Day-Lewis is getting all the press for his hardcore Method acting — but at least his role was in English. During a Friday appearance on Today, Django Unchained star Kerry Washington revealed that she actually learned German to play Broomhilda, a slave owned by a German family, in the upcoming film. But no matter how impressive Washington's dedication to the role, it pales in comparison to Leonardo DiCaprio, who managed to speak in a ridiculous southern accent without laughing at himself.