1. Kate Middleton, Prince William plan to become parents in 2013
By this time next year, Prince William and Duchess Kate may be the proud parents of a bouncing, British, royal bundle of joy, reports US Weekly. "In a dream situation, [William and Kate] would love to be a step closer at Christmas," confides a source, adding that the regal pair had hoped to get preggers even sooner, but needed to wait until their malaria medication had run its course. Ahhh, romance.

2. Bill O'Reilly is befuddled by "Gangnam Style"
"Gangnam Style" may be the most-viewed YouTube video of all time, but one person still hasn't been won over by Psy's breakout hit, reports MTV News: Conservative commentator Bill O'Reilly, who attacked the song on The O'Reilly Factor Tuesday night. "Remember 'The Pony'? He's just doing the Pony! […] Elvis Presley could sing, he had a good voice, his song had words…," complained O'Reilly. "Whatever you say, grandpa," sighed teenagers across the country.

3. Yoko Ono introduces clothing line inspired by John Lennon's "sexy bod"
Artist/activist/alleged Beatles breaker-upper Yoko Ono has unveiled a clothing line that she says was inspired by John Lennon's "sexy bod" — and the risque results are a lot closer to "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?" than "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." Entertainment Weekly offers a sample gallery, showcasing garments ranging from a "lightbulb bra" to a "padded jock strap," which Ono would be advised not to promote as "bigger than Jesus."

4. Shia LaBeouf dumps girlfriend for Nymphomaniac costar Mia Goth
Is there more than meets the eye to Transformers star Shia LaBeouf's love life? The New York Daily News reports that LaBeouf has quietly ended his relationship with longtime girlfriend Karolyn Pho and taken up with actress Mia Goth, his Nymphomaniac costar, in a joke that essentially writes itself.

5. Mike Tyson plans to hit the road with a one-man show
Following the trail blazed by Charlie Sheen, former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson is planning to tour the U.S. with his theater act, reports Reuters. Tyson has been performing the show, titled "Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth," since April as a one-man monologue — presumably to ensure that he doesn't bite the ears or threaten to eat the children of any unsuspecting costars.