1. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez...back on
Our brief national nightmare may be over: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have reportedly reconciled. The New York Post reports that Gomez took Bieber back "with much heartache," while still bemoaning his tendency to publicly flirt with Victoria's Secret models in the weeks leading up to their breakup. "Things are still pretty volatile between them," confirms a source, so prepare to resume our national Jelena nightmare momentarily.

2. Uggie, canine star of The Artist, confesses to kitten murder
Any good celebrity tell-all contains a few sordid details, but Jack Russell Terrier Uggie, who memorably costarred in last year's Best Picture winner The Artist, has been harboring an unusually dark secret. In his new autobiography Uggie: My Story — which The Huffington Post explains was "barked" to biographer Wendy Holden — the pooch admits to biting and killing a kitten after its mother attacked him. The confession may adversely affect Uggie's career, but, in an industry where Charlie Sheen can still get work, perhaps anything can be forgiven.

3. Jennifer Lawrence gets in car accident due to Honey Boo Boo
It's common for those who crash cars to try to shift the blame elsewhere, but Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence found an inspired scapegoat: Honey Boo Boo. E! Online reports that Lawrence was driving through Georgia when she came across a breast cancer parade whose participants wore sashes that read "boobs" — which Lawrence mistook for "Boo Boo." So eager was Lawrence to catch a glimpse of the reality TV star that she accidentally rear-ended the car in front of her, unaware that most people go out of their way to avoid Honey Boo Boo.

4. PETA asks President Obama not to pardon turkeys
On Thanksgiving, President Obama is scheduled to pardon two turkeys from the chopping block, carrying on a tradition that began more than 20 years ago. But he's encountered one unlikely critic: PETA. USA Today reports that the animal-rights group opposes the presidential pardon because it "makes light of the mass slaughter of some 46 million gentle, intelligent birds," suggesting that Americans choose Tofurkey roasts for their holiday meals instead. PETA's position on pardoning soybeans remains unclear.

5. Flaming Lips singer Wayne Coyne brings grenade to Oklahoma City airport
It's a Thanksgiving tradition to grumble about airport security lines, but it's hard to argue that the TSA was overzealous when it stopped Flaming Lips singer Wayne Coyne from bringing a grenade onto an airplane and shut down the terminal, as TMZ reports. Fortunately, the grenade wasn't live — Coyne described it as a "joke" gift, while declining to deliver the punch line.