Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for the results of the previous contest: Dumb bumpers

Last week's contest: Sales of craft beers such as Sweetwater Happy Ending Imperial Stout and Wasatch Polygamy Porter (from Utah) jumped 13 percent last year. Given the soaring prospects for microbrews, we asked you to concoct the most pretentious name for a beer ever. 

RESULTS:

THE WINNER: Vermont Mountain Lakes Shade-Grown Double-Hopped Not Quite Pale Ale
TM Flynn, Lyndon Center, VT

SECOND PLACE: Rachel's Enviro-Friendly Wheat-Free Wheat Beer
Gary Hennion, New York, NY

THIRD PLACE: Horst Anderwaggen's Premium Sauerkraut Stout
John Kirby, Chattanooga, TN
 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Carry My Bags Porter
Joe Adiletta, Cambridge, MA

Cannes de Bière
Paul Kazee, Schenectady, NY

I-Have-Health-Care-And-You-Don't
Linda Manuel, Stockton, NJ

It's- a-Hops-Thing,-I-Doubt-You'll-Understand
Bob Welch, Minnetonka, MN

Miles, Charlie & Dizzy's Favorite Brew
Ron Sahatjian, Lexington, MA

Ivy Leaguer Lager
Angela James, Westminster, MD

Summa Cum Lager
Ginny Lord, Oconomowoc, WI

Cask System
Roni Rork, Humboldt, MA

Poursche
Paul Witte, New Hope, PA

Dom Beerignon
Bob Scheibel, Woodland Hills, CA

Dom Perignale
David Carpenter, North Hills, CA

Et Tu, Brewtus?
Emily Cooper, Hillsborough, NC

Pitcher of Dorian Gray
Tim Edgerton, Sonora, CA

You Pale in Comparison Ale
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA

Brood in Obscurity
Megan Lyons, Sarasota, FL

Believe in Bain Beer
Esther Fishman, San Francisco, CA

Budweisest
Barb Pollyea, La Mesa, CA

Bud Light Unobtanium
Duncan Seagle, Seattle, WA

The Mother of the King of Beers
Gary Klein, Pleasantville, NY

Wine!
Janet E. Stafford, Oklahoma City, OK