With record high temperatures burning across the plains and up the East Coast — and 32 states and the District of Columbia under heat-warnings or heat advisories — a "miserable heat wave" is punishing the country. Though dozens have died, the media can't help but use the situation as fodder for punny, jocular headlines, especially given the, ahem, heated debt ceiling debate in the capital. Here, a sampling of attempted wit:

"When Mr. Heat comes to Washington"
"'Sweat ceiling'" heat wave feels like 109 in Washington, D.C."
The Post-Standard

"Helter swelter: When you can't beat the heat, join it"
The New Yorker

"Massive heat wave could cause corn prices to pop"

"Feelin' hot, hot, hot"
Suffolks News Herald

"No sweat to sweat in this heat"
Metro News (West Virginia)

"The agony of the heat"