6 secrets you can learn from the happiest people on earth

Turns out, there was one — and only one — characteristic that distinguished the happiest 10 percent from everybody else: the strength of their social relationships. My empirical study of well-being among 1,600 Harvard undergraduates found a similar result — social support was a far greater predictor of happiness than any other factor, more than GPA, family income, SAT scores, age, gender, or race. In fact, the correlation between social support and happiness was 0.7. This may not sound like a big number, but for researchers it's huge — most psychology findings are considered significant when they hit 0.3. The point is, the more social support you have, the happier you are. [The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work]

Vaillant's insight came from his seminal work on the Grant Study, an almost seventy-year (and ongoing) longitudinal investigation of the developmental trajectories of Harvard College graduates. (This study is also referred to as the Harvard Study.) In a study led by Derek Isaacowitz, we found that the capacity to love and be loved was the single strength most clearly associated with subjective well-being at age eighty. [Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being]

When 577 volunteers were encouraged to pick one of their signature strengths and use it in a new way each day for a week, they became significantly happier and less depressed than control groups. And these benefits lasted: Even after the experiment was over, their levels of happiness remained heightened a full month later. Studies have shown that the more you use your signature strengths in daily life, the happier you become.[The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work]

You know those nightmares where you are shouting a warning but no sound comes out? Well, that's the intensity with which the experts wanted to tell younger people that spending years in a job you dislike is a recipe for regret and a tragic mistake. There was no issue about which the experts were more adamant and forceful. Over and over they prefaced their comments with, "If there's one thing I want your readers to know it's . . ." From the vantage point of looking back over long experience, wasting around two thousand hours of irretrievable lifetime each year is pure idiocy. [30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans]

…what is interesting is that there is often a gap between where people say they want to spend their time and how they actually spend their time… you find a large percentage know what projects and people energize them, but do not in fact spend much time on those projects and with those people.

…once you identify the activities and people with whom you want to spend more time, calendaring your time thoughtfully becomes critical. When you put something on a calendar, you're more likely to actually do that activity — partly because you're less likely to have to make an active decision whether you should do it — because it's already on your calendar.

Our findings suggest that happiness is mainly about getting what one wants and needs, including from other people or even just by using money. In contrast, meaningfulness was linked to doing things that express and reflect the self, and in particular to doing positive things for others. Meaningful involvements increase one's stress, worries, arguments, and anxiety, which reduce happiness. (Spending money to get things went with happiness, but managing money was linked to meaningfulness.) Happiness went with being a taker more than a giver, while meaningfulness was associated with being a giver more than a taker.

Even when likely confounds were taken into account, ikigai predicted who was still alive after seven years. Said another way, 95 percent of respondents who reported a sense of meaning in their lives were alive seven years after the initial survey versus about 83 percent of those who reported no sense of meaning in their lives. The lack of ikigai was in particular associated with death due to cardiovascular disease (usually stroke), but not death due to cancer. [Pursuing the Good Life: 100 Reflections on Positive Psychology]

Research shows that on the job, people who engage in selfless giving end up feeling overloaded and stressed, as well as experiencing conflict between work and family. This is even true in marriages: In one study of married couples, people who failed to maintain an equilibrium between their own needs and their partner's needs became more depressed over the next six months. [Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success]

The chunkers achieved gains in happiness; the sprinklers didn't. Happiness increased when people performed all five giving acts in a single day, rather than doing one a day. Lyubomirsky and colleagues speculate that "spreading them over the course of a week might have diminished salience and power or made them less distinguishable from participants habitual kind of behavior." [Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success]

One hundred seems to be a magical number when it comes to giving. In a study of more than 2,000 Australian adults in their mid-60s, those who volunteered between 100 and 800 hours per year were happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who volunteered fewer than one hundred or more than eight hundred hours annually. In another study, American adults who volunteered at least one hundred hours in 1998 were more likely to be alive in 2000. There were no benefits of volunteering more than one hundred hours. This is the 100-hour rule of volunteering. It appears to be the range where giving is maximally energizing and minimally draining. [Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success]