Why are German soldiers growing breasts?

Something very strange is happening to the German military. Nearly 75 percent of the soldiers in the elite Wachbataillon guard unit have visited army medics with the same condition: Newly developed man boobs. And in each case, the unwelcome bosom-blossoming only appears on the left side.

The good news? There's a way to prevent this from happening in the future. The bad news? The battalion is going to have to make some changes. You see, the Wachbataillon performs drill displays at official events, and because the soldiers repeatedly slam heavy rifles into the left sides of their chests, they are stimulating mammary glands which produce hormones, leading to a condition called one-sided gynecomastia.

Here's a video of some of the soldiers performing drills. You can see there's a lot of rough rifle-on-chest action:

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The director of plastic surgery at Berlin's military hospital says the link between the drills and the breast growth is significant. "They need to change the way they drill. The constant slamming of the rifles against the left hand side of the chest is clearly a significant factor," he says.

Military leaders say they are looking into changing the drills. In the meantime, many of the stricken soldiers are resorting to plastic surgery. Maybe they should just get sports bras.