The week's best of the internet

1. "Mom of the Year" contender gives son an iPhone (and 18-point contract) for Christmas

iPhones are great. Who doesn't love iPhones? So the news that Janell Burley Hofman gave her 13-year-old son, Gregory, a brand new iPhone for Christmas isn't exactly a story. But the 18-point contract warmly outlining how Gregory can and can't use his expensive new toy — along with some indispensable life advice — totally is. Here's what she wrote:

What kind of stipulations did she include? Bullet points like "No ignoring calls from Mom or Dad" (duh), and time-tested mom knowledge like, "Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences." Solid parenting. 9.5 out of 10. Read the whole thing here. (Via Mashable)

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2. Baby on a Roomba

What's that? Oh nothing. Just a baby. A baby riding a Roomba. (Via Tumblr)

3. A very sad picture of a young Lindsay Lohan

Spotted in an old issue of Nick magazine. :T (Via Imgur)

4. New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie meets Dinosaurs

Only one question: Why did it take so long for anyone to notice this? (Via Buzzfeed)

5. Skrillex releases a song that's actually pretty great

Perhaps you've heard of Skrillex, the Rihanna-haired pioneer of the bro-step dance genre. Turns out he has pretty exquisite taste in electronic music (his favorite song is by Aphex Twin), and he seems to be moving away from the obnoxious buzz-saw sounds and bass drops that have, at least so far, defined his career. Great job, Skrillex. More stuff like this, please. Give it a listen. (Via Death & Taxes)

6. Kanye wears a really expensive mask

Kilt expert and soon-to-be baby daddy Kanye West performed in Atlantic City last weekend dressed in really expensive gothwear, including this Bedazzled™ facemask by Maison Martin Margiela. Looks hard to breathe in. (Via Huffington Post)

7. The most terrible New Year's Eve party of all time

How was your New Year's Eve? Did you find yourself having an existential crisis in the middle of a crowded bar, wondering why you were surrounded by drunk strangers who aren't even your friends? No? Well, whatever you were doing, it couldn't have been as bad as the televised event put on by Orange County radio station KDOC, which might go down as the saddest, weirdest New Year's Eve party in the history of weird, sad parties. Special appearances include an allegedly high-as-a-kite Macy Gray and rap group Bone Thugz-N-Harmony saying the F-word on live television. It's a beautiful train wreck. (Via Grantland)

8. Kobe Bryant joined Twitter

In an NBA full of over-sharing youngsters, Kobe Bryant was a cranky old man who liked doing old-man things like refusing to wear silly glasses (looking at you, LeBron) and not using Twitter. But that all changed when he started tweeting for Nike basketball during the last week of December. Guess he really liked sharing his innermost thoughts with the world after all, because he finally jumped on his own account, @KobeBryant, for the first time on Friday. Really looking forward to all those Twitpics of your lunch, Kobe. People love those. #Advice (Via Twitter)

9. Cat of the Week

Guys, it wasn't even CLOSE this week. Just take a look at this cat in a sock. (Via Imgur)