Can the world possibly recover from Justin Bieber's haircut?

Teen idol Justin Bieber made the momentous decision to cut his hair, ditching his famed blond shag last weekend for a closer cropped, more mature-looking 'do. After Bieber broke the news on Twitter and followed up with pictures, many of his tween fans took to Twitter to cry foul; an unconfirmed report claims that 80,000 fans even unsubscribed to his Twitter feed. (Even if true, Bieber has retained a healthy 7.5 million Twitter followers.) Two days after his earthshaking announcement, the newly shorn star was still defending his decision on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," where he shrugged off fan criticism and gave the talk-show host a box of his hair to donate to charity. Here are some choice reactions to the haircut heard 'round the world:

He looks familiar...

"Good news," tweets @DirtySpaceNews. "Justin Bieber doesn't look like Ellen Page anymore. Bad news: he looks like Emma Watson."

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But still not quite masculine

Bieber's old haircut drew much notice for its feminine look, says Mog.com. The new one is "still curiously tousled, and it still has Brought to you by Ellen DeGeneres written all over it. So if this was the Bieb's attempt at asserting his burgeoning masculinity, better luck next time."

His tween fans reacted with total rationality

"Apparently, when he announced news of his new 'do, 80,000 little girls collectively punched their computers, stomped on their Bratz dolls, and, after calming down and thinking rationally, decided the best thing to do was to stop following him on Twitter," says Kristen Wong at Hollyscoop.

His hair will save the world

Bieber's hair will be auctioned off for charity, says Jeff Labrecque at Entertainment Weekly, so "even in death, the Hair will continue to be a beacon of goodness for the world." Concerned that the precious bounty will fall into the wrong hands? Fear not. "Rogue governments and record executives will be no match for 13-Year-Old Girls With Daddy's Credit Card. It is these young patriots that will keep the Hair and our way of life safe."

Get a life, people

The world is fascinated with Bieber and his haircut, as evidenced by its popularity on Google Trends, the trend-tracking service that consistently "shows our national seamy underbelly," says Alexandra Petri at The Washington Post. Americans, please: "Take a moment to reconsider your life."

Rationality rears its head again

"NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!WHY?!WHY?!WHY?!WHY?! WHY?!WHY?!…….BUT I STILL LOVE YOU!!!!143 AKA I LOVE YOU JB!!!!!!!!!" remarked one poster on JustinbBieberzone.com (as quoted by Salon).