Textual infidelity: Proof that a mate is cheating

Of all the questions surrounding Tiger Woods’ spectacular fall from grace, said Monica Hesse in The Washington Post, the most baffling may be: “What kind of nitwit celebrity would still leave an e-trail?” Thanks to the wonders of digital voice mail, we’ve all heard a nervous-sounding Woods warning one of his many lovers that “my wife went through my phone, and, uh, may be calling you.” We’ve also read—as perhaps Mrs. Woods herself did—many of Tiger’s lurid text messages to his mistresses. A decade or so ago, such carelessness might perhaps have been understandable, said Laura Holson in The New York Times. But now, after so many high-profile philanderers have been exposed by the indelibility of electronic communication, Woods surely should have known that e-mails, voice mails, text messages, and the like “are the new lipstick on the collar”—proof that a mate has strayed.

Perhaps he should have, said Michelle Cottle in The New Republic, but when men are in the midst of an affair, they’re not exactly thinking with their heads. Besides, for risk-takers like Tiger, texting the Other Woman—or Other Women—while sitting next to the missus “has always been central to the fun of cheating.” Because texting and e-mails feel so private, said John Timpane in The Philadelphia Inquirer, it’s easy to forget that every “mmmm” and “i miss u” can later be retrieved by a suspicious wife, subpoenaed by her attorney, or splashed on the front page of a tabloid. Tiger Woods is not the first “great man brought low via mobile media.” Just ask Sen. John Ensign, former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, or Gov. Mark Sanford, all of whom left electronic evidence of hanky-panky. Barring a fundamental shift in human nature, Tiger won’t be the last to make the same mistake.

Whoa there, ladies, said Kate Harding in Salon.com. Don’t go rushing off now to snoop in your husband’s cell phone or e-mail account. If you find yourself compelled to become a cyberdetective, looking for evidence that he’s got someone on the side, I’d say your relationship is already doomed. A healthy marriage requires monogamy—on that most of us would agree. But it also requires trust, and a respect for each other’s privacy. Tiger Woods’ indiscreet texting habits may end up destroying his marriage. But the fact that his wife was going through his phone, looking for evidence of a life she knew nothing about, tells me “it was already completely freakin’ broken.”

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