Why Candace Bushnell prefers younger men

Candace Bushnell is proud to be a “cougar,” though she’s not crazy about the term. Married for seven years to a man 10 years her junior, the creator of Sex and the City says she is tired of being stereotyped as a sexual predator. “How come every time women manage to break of out of traditional roles, someone tries to ruin it with a derogatory label?” she asks in More. For her and for most women who end up with younger men, she says, it’s simply a matter of chemistry, not some premeditated plan to land a young hunk. “You fall in love, and the guy turns out to be 10 years younger. When I was younger, I dated men of various ages. And I saw a pattern emerge: Whenever I was with an older man, all those societal dictates about male and female roles would creep into my subconscious. I’d start acting like the little woman.” Bushnell wanted a man she considered her equal, “but I couldn’t find that until I let go of the idea of the guy who looked right on paper.” Besides, Bushnell says, a younger man content to be with an older woman is likely to be “confident, open-minded, and willing to make his own rules—all of which happen to be qualities that make for a great relationship.”

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