Up all night with telethons

How do telethons operate?

Telethons marry philanthropy with show business according to a well-calculated format. Entertainers keep the audience tuned in long enough for the hosts to issue heartfelt pleas for dollars. The infirm or needy people who benefit from the money are showcased, accompanied by emotionally charged music, narration, and copious tears. A sense of urgency permeates the program, underscored by periodic updatings of a tote board of the viewers’ generosity. Jerry Lewis is the acknowledged master of the genre; viewers will often watch just to see if he will survive the ordeal. “For 21 Qw hours,” Elisabeth Bumiller once wrote in The Washington Post, “you can see Jerry sing, laugh, slip, fall, and change clothes. You can also see Jerry cry and deliver soliloquies.”

How did they originate?

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The first telethon took place April 9–10, 1949, and raised $100,000 for New York’s Damon Runyon Memorial Cancer Fund. The host was Milton Berle, who broadcast for 16 straight hours from NBC studios, finishing at 3:55 a.m. on Sunday. Models and chorus girls operated the phone lines in front of the cameras; less attractive operators worked backstage. The entertainment included horse races and a quiz show called Who Said That?

Does anyone object to telethons?

Some critics consider them to be little more than freak shows. In The Encyclopedia of Bad Taste, authors Jane and Michael Stern describe telethons as “an insane experience—swinging madly from showbiz banter and goofy jokes to grievous personal tragedies.” Many of those stricken with the diseases that telethons are seeking to cure say they don’t enjoy being depicted as helpless victims begging for charity. Jerry Lewis in particular has been accused of patronizing them. In a 1990 Parade magazine article entitled “If I Had Muscular Dystrophy,” Lewis presumed to speak to readers in the voice of one of the afflicted. “I may be a full human being in my heart and soul,” Lewis wrote, “yet I am still half a person.” Many disabled people were outraged. Lewis recently defended telethons by saying, “[If] you don’t want to be pitied because you’re a cripple in a wheelchair, stay in your house.” Wheelchair-bound people now regularly picket the MDA telethon.

Who stages telethons?

Well-known charitable organizations include the United Negro College Fund, the United Jewish Appeal, the United Way, and the Children’s Miracle Network, which benefits a consortium of children’s hospitals. But the telethon formula has been appropriated by many organizations and individuals looking for a quick way to raise money. When Bing Crosby made his TV debut in 1952, it was on a telethon to help send the U.S. Olympic Team to the Helsinki games. Australia took the same approach to send its team to Los Angeles in 1984. In 1975, after Sheriff Guy Langley of Fresno County, Calif., was charged with laundering campaign funds, he held a two-day telethon that raised $52,000 to pay legal expenses; he ultimately pleaded no contest. Argentina staged one of the most unusual telethons in history, to raise cash for its ill-fated war with Great Britain over the Falkland Islands.

Where does the money come from?

Most people think telethons raise the millions that are periodically racked up on their tote boards from thousands of individuals pledging a few dollars apiece. Actually, organizations provide the bulk of the money, most of which has already been donated. In the months prior to a telethon, national corporate sponsors, local businesses, and service clubs work to amass their contributions. The payoff comes when a representative presents the host with a symbolic check before the cameras. One year, 84 percent of the $47.7 million raised by the Easter Seals telethon came from corporate donations and fund-raising events. Other charities, like the Muscular Dystrophy Association and United Cerebral Palsy, raise perhaps a third of their totals via phone pledges.

Have politicians gotten into the act?

Yes, but with generally disappointing results. In the 1960 presidential race, both Hubert Humphrey and Richard Nixon undertook telethons to boost their visibility. Nixon himself personally hosted his four-hour effort. In 1972, the Democrats ran an ill-fated telethon that left viewers complaining about the partisan jokes and long-winded speeches; the program raised only $5 million–plus of its $9.3 million goal. On Memorial Day weekend 1983, a Democratic telethon yielded a million phone calls, only 20 percent of which pledged money. The other 80 percent came from people phoning in to voice their support for President Reagan.

Are telethons as popular as they used to be?

Even in the 1950s, there were complaints that the format was not cost-effective. Today, the spiraling cost of buying television airtime has made telethons a dying breed. In 1998, Easter Seals eliminated its telethon in favor of a two-hour variety show designed to spotlight the organization, rather than raise funds. The production had no tote board, phone banks, or check presentations. The March of Dimes and the Arthritis Foundation are among the charities that have ceased holding national telethons. “We couldn’t afford to spend 50 cents to make a dollar,” explained one March of Dimes vice president.

Working Labor Day since 1966