The Da Vinci Code

I used to think that Dan Brown's clunker of a book would make a great movie, said Dana Stevens in Slate.com. 'œSo much for that theory.' Despite its hilariously bad prose and silly caricatures, that page-turning plot could have been a thoroughly entertaining summer blockbuster, but this isn't it. Ron Howard's big-screen version of the best-selling novel is too respectful, too explanatory, and—worst of all—unbearably dull. That's a nearly impossible feat for a story so exciting it kept readers the world over from switching off the bedside lamp.

Like the book, the movie begins with the murder of a curator at the Louvre museum. As he bleeds to death, the elderly Frenchman arranges his body in the shape of Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man and carves a pentagram on his skin. These are clues for Robert Langdon, a brilliant Harvard symbologist, and his sexy French cryptographer sidekick, Sophie Neveu. While the dashing duo sets off on a European scavenger hunt of word games and numerical codes, they are being chased by a nasty cultist monk, who represents a shadowy Catholic conspiracy bent on keeping hidden the very secret that Langdon seeks to expose.

That ridiculous premise is fun in the book, but here it's taken far too seriously, said Peter Travers in Rolling Stone. The Da Vinci Code was a controversial novel whose denunciation by the Catholic Church only made it a more delicious guilty pleasure. For this bloodless interpretation, we can first point the finger at screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, 'œwho manages to eradicate every ounce of suspense, spirituality, and erotic fire from Brown's novel.' Next, let's turn to Ron Howard, who is so afraid of controversy that he tries to suck all the juice out of the Catholic conspiracy plot by giving Langdon long speeches about why the church ain't so bad after all.

The Week

Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

SUBSCRIBE & SAVE

https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/flexiimages/jacafc5zvs1692883516.jpg

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters

Join more than 350,000 subscribers and keep yourself informed with a selection of The Week’s most interesting, enlightening and entertaining stories - plus daily puzzles.

Latest Videos FromThe Week

Watch full video here:

Don't stop there, said Joe Morgenstern in The Wall Street Journal. As Langdon and Neveu, Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou are criminally bland. Hanks gives perhaps his worst performance ever—he can barely register an expression of fright or excitement. Neither can he and Tautou muster the chemistry that gave the book one of its most interesting subplots. Thank goodness for Sir Ian McKellen, who 'œbrings a buoyant spirit' to the film as British aristocrat Sir Leigh Teabing. While our heroes take refuge at Teabing's chateau, Sir Ian delivers the film's brightest moments.