What stops us from talking about miscarriage

I speak from experience

A woman sits with folded hands.
(Image credit: iStock)

After Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg wrote movingly about his wife's multiple miscarriages, many commentators hoped his openness would inspire more public, honest discussion of pregnancy loss. It's a conversation that's desperately needed. Sadly, I suspect most women who've had a miscarriage will continue to suffer in silence.

This is especially alarming when you realize that up to 25 percent of U.S. women will lose at least one pregnancy. It's almost mundanely common. Yet few talk to anyone — other than their doctor and partner — about their experience. It's an extension of the ugly etiquette of how women are expected to announce a pregnancy: Keep it secret until after your 12-week scan, just in case it doesn't work out and you have to deal with the intense sadness, plus the trauma and awkwardness of "un-telling" people.

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Ruth Margolis
Ruth ​Margolis is a British ​journalist living in the U.S. Her work has appeared in ​The Guardian, ​The ​Daily Telegraph and BBCAmerica.com.