The amazing names of Kentucky Derby horses, ranked

Let's get this out of the way upfront: You could spend hours and hours earnestly studying which horse actually has the best chance of winning the Kentucky Derby on Saturday. Or you could spend five minutes looking at the names and just pick the one you like best.

If that's your M.O., then grab a mint julep and get prepared for the big day with The Week's Kentucky Derby odds, determined solely based on the quality of each horse's name.

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Odds based on name alone: 100/1

Actual odds: 12/1

Analysis: "Mor" as it is used here is actually Danish for "mother," but doesn't it actually make you think of Mor Furniture For Less? Which is a spirit no one wants in a race.

Lani

Odds based on name alone: 75/1

Actual odds: 30/1

Analysis: Lani means "heaven" in Hawaiian and is the colt of a mare named Heavenly Romance, all of which seems appropriate. Yet at the same time, Lani is a little, well, soft for a racehorse. A pony could be named Lani. A puppy, sure. But not the king of the track.

Destin

Odds based on name alone: 50/1

Actual odds: 15/1

Analysis: No two horses can be registered with the same name, and "Destiny" was apparently already taken. Thus, there was "Destin." Yeah, the owners just dropped the Y. "Destiny" is already a boring name, and they only made it worse.

Mo Tom

Odds based on name alone: 50/1

Actual odds: 20/1

Analysis: You wouldn't have guessed it from the name alone, but Mo Tom is actually one of the creepiest horse names in the race. Apparently owner Tom Benson (who also owns the New Orleans Saints and Pelicans) was recovering from surgery and his wife, Gayle, mentioned she wanted "more Tom." Being the colt of Uncle Mo, they just abbreviated Gayle's wish and ended up with... this.

Brody's Cause

Odds based on name alone: 45/1

Actual odds: 12/1

Analysis: This sounds more like a charity than a horse. The name apparently won a contest at owner Dennis Albaugh's agrochemical company, which makes you question the judgment of the people voting. Even more confusing, "Brody" is the name of Albaugh's great nephew, but "there's no real big cause."

Mohaymen

Odds based on name alone: 40/1

Actual odds: 10/1

Analysis: "Mohaymen" is the Arabic word for "dominant," which is promising in and of itself, but the word is a little less impressive when you say it aloud. Consider 2015's Mubtaahij (Arabic for "cheery") and El Kabeir (Arabic for "boss"), names that have real oomph when you say them. You don't have to know what Ajdal means to know that horse is a real winner, and you don't want to mess around with a Mubtaahij or an El Kabeir, either. Mohaymen, on the other hand, is just begging for a "hay" pun.

Danzing Candy

Odds based on name alone: 35/1

Actual odds: 15/1

Analysis: This horse was originally named Ron's Bitcoin. Ron's Bitcoin. So yeah, Danzing Candy is an improvement.

Exaggerator

Odds based on name alone: 30/1

Actual odds: 8/1

Analysis: "Exaggerator" literally means "one who magnifies beyond the limits of truth, overstates, or represents disproportionately." In other words, this is a bizarre name for a racehorse because it basically openly confesses that it is not going to do nearly as well as you think it is going to do. Magnified beyond the limits of truth. Names don't lie.

Outwork

Odds based on name alone: 25/1

Actual odds: 15/1

Analysis: "I always talk about outworking your competition,” owner Mike Repole said, except this name does no outworking.

Creator

Odds based on name alone: 25/1

Actual odds: 10/1

Analysis: This horse is literally named after God. "We named him after God above," WinStar Farm's racing manager Elliot Walden told The Wall Street Journal without any apparent trace of irony. "We reserved the name and we waited for the right horse." As my fellow horse-name connoisseur Will Leitch points out, "I'm not sure the best way to honor the being that constructed the Earth and the cosmos and our souls and the vast span of the infinite realm is by naming a horse after Her."

Whitmore

Odds based on name alone: 20/1

Actual odds: 20/1

Analysis: Whitmore sounds like the name of someone who would own a racehorse, not the racehorse itself. In fact, Whitmore practically is the name of someone who owns this horse — he's a high school friend of the owner.

Tom's Ready

Odds based on name alone: 15/1

Actual odds: 30/1

Analysis: This is the same Tom from "Mo Tom," with a similarly ambiguous, slightly creepy name. Tom is ready for what?! (The answer, apparently, is spending $100,000 on a horse.)

Nyquist

Odds based on name alone: 15/1

Actual odds: 3/1

Analysis: "Nyquist" is suspiciously close to the word "Nyquil," which certainly raises concerns about speed. But in actuality, Nyquist is named for the Detroit Red Wings right wing Gustav Nyquist (this contender comes from a line of horses named after Wings players, an effort we can respect). The human Nyquist recently weighed in to say that while "I've never really been into horse racing before, to be honest with you … this for sure has given me some interest." While giving a horse a name that actually sounds like a name is boring, points are regained here for him not being named after anti-tax activist Grover Norquist. Points are lost, however, for the horse also not being named after the Swedish cinematographer Sven Vilhem Nykvist, which is about as obscure and weird as you can get.

Majesto

Odds based on name alone: 10/1

Actual odds: 30/1

Analysis: Majesto is too cute a name to be a winner. It comes from the initials of the owner's sons, Mauro and Jesus, plus "todos," the Spanish word for "everybody," representing the rest of the owner's children. The resulting name reportedly means "glory" in "an ancient language," which might also just be too convenient.

Shagaf

Odds based on name alone: 10/1

Actual odds: 20/1

Analysis: Another Arabic name, only this one is doing the work. "Shagaf" means "fond of," but it could also double as an onomatopoeia of this horse zipping past to leave you in the dust.

My Man Sam

Odds based on name alone: 8/1

Actual odds: 20/1

Analysis: This isn't a great name, but it's a winner's name. You can imagine affectionately patting this horse's sweaty post-race neck and saying, "That's My Man Sam." (The real man Sam is the son of the owner).

Gun Runner

Odds based on name alone: 7/1

Actual odds: 10/1

Analysis: Any horse name that makes you think of pirates or masked desert bandits gets a gold star for being an excellent horse name. Gun Runner, of course, does just that — with the icing on top being the fact that it also sneaks in the word "run" without feeling cheesy.

Trojan Nation

Odds based on name alone: 5/1

Actual odds: 50/1

Analysis: The owner's father was a USC Trojan fan and "would have been over the moon to be a part of this." Now he is — in the horse's memorable name of Trojan Nation. Once untangled from the football reference, the name evokes both dominance and relentlessness in battle. Trojan Nation will need both.

Oscar Nominated

Odds based on name alone: 5/1

Actual odds: 20/1

Analysis: Oscar Nominated is the second most lucky name in the race for its humble nod at fame — this isn't Oscar Winner. But Oscar Nominated has had a star-studded past leading up to the Kentucky Derby: His parents are named Theatrical and Devine Actress, and Oscar himself won the Fair Grounds' Black Gold Overnight Stakes a day before the Academy Awards.

Suddenbreakingnews

Odds based on name alone: 3/1

Actual odds: 20/1

Analysis: Suddenbreakingnews wins this race by a mile. First of all, there's the lack of spaces in his name, which makes you urgently want to blurt, "Suddenbreakingnews!" Then there are the words themselves — both fortuitous in what they could imply and confident in those implications. This horse isn't just news — it's sudden and breaking. Apparently the owner at first tried for just Breaking News but couldn't get the name approved by the Jockey Club (which is fine, because that name is significantly less great). The owner then resubmitted with Suddenbreakingnews, and the rest is history. This one is a winner.