The daily gossip: March 13, 2020

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1. Peter and Madison have already broken up
2. Niall Horan discusses the possibility of a One Direction reunion while hooked to a lie detector
3. Tom Hanks posts health update: 'There is no crying in baseball'
4. Lala thinks God might give her coronavirus to help her publicity
5. Emily Blunt has a story about a bad spray tan, just like the rest of us

published 13 March 2020

1. Peter and Madison have already broken up

As if this week hasn't been dramatic enough, the Bachelor Peter Weber revealed Thursday that he and Madison Prewett broke up just two days after the show's dramatic finale. The couple, admittedly, didn't have the most auspicious of beginnings: Peter was originally engaged to Hannah Ann Sluss and broke it off to be with Madison, despite the searing disapproval of his mother, Barbara. "Madi and I have mutually decided to not pursue our relationship any further. Believe me, this was not easy for either of us to be ok with," Peter posted to his Instagram. "I will always love and respect him," posted Madison, who frankly really dodged a bullet with that one.

Celebrities always seem to give frustratingly noncommittal answers to our most pressing questions, which is why James Corden went as far as to hook up Niall Horan to a lie detector before asking him about the possibility of a One Direction reunion. On the Thursday night episode of Carpool Karaoke, Corden pushed Horan to tell the truth about if he anticipated working with Liam Payne, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson again after the group went on an indefinite hiatus in 2016 to pursue their solo careers. Horan, who was on the show to promote his own new solo album, Heartbreak Weather, quickly confirmed "yes," and the lie detector didn't pick up any sign of deceit. Now get into the studio!

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Tom Hanks extended his 63-year streak as the greatest living American on Friday, posting an upbeat update about his positive COVID-19 diagnosis. The Academy Award-winning actor let everyone know he and his wife, Rita Wilson, who is also ill, are being taken care of in Australia, where Hanks had been set to shoot a new film. "There are things we can all do to get through this by following the advice of experts and taking care of ourselves and each other, no?" Hanks wrote. "Remember, despite all the current events, there is no crying in baseball." Wilson seemed less inspired: "From here on out, the only Corona I want is from Mexico and you drink it," she tweeted.

Lala Kent knows the Lord works in mysterious ways, which is why she mused that if she gets coronavirus, it'd be divine "publicity." In an Instagram video that she admitted she "may get in trouble for," the Vanderpump Rules star explained her thinking: "I just don't feel that God would give me coronavirus before I get married. I just don't see that happening to me," she said. "Let's just say I do get it before my wedding. I feel like that means that God is like, 'B---h. You need a little publicity.'" Experts say as much as 70 percent of the population could catch the novel coronavirus, and that contracting it has nothing to do with your wedding in April.

There is nothing more relatable than the memory of a deeply regrettable spray tan, and in that sense, anyway, Emily Blunt is one of us. The 37-year-old actress admitted to James Corden on The Late Late Show that she got a "bad spray tan" for her 2010 wedding to John Krasinski. "I look at the pictures and it just has an orange hue that is unnatural to normal skin color," Blunt said. She confessed that, to be fair, she only has herself to blame — the tan was one of those "do-it-yourself" sprays that "stinks." Oh honey, don't we know.

Jeva Lange was the executive editor at TheWeek.com. She formerly served as The Week's deputy editor and culture critic. She is also a contributor to Screen Slate, and her writing has appeared in The New York Daily News, The Awl, Vice, and Gothamist, among other publications. Jeva lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter.