The daily gossip: April 8, 2020

(Image credit: John Phillips/Getty Images)

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1. No one but Drake actually thinks Drake's house is cool
2. Full House cast virtually reunites for 'Full Quarantine' parody
3. Naomi Watts is having a bad day
4. Chelsea Handler sees nothing wrong with using a bra as a face mask in these uncertain times
5. Louisiana police are very, very sorry for playing The Purge siren

published 8 April 2020

1. No one but Drake actually thinks Drake's house is cool

Drake opened up his 50,000-square-foot, $100 million Toronto mansion to Architectural Digest, which published photos of the "extravagant" Beaux Arts home that the rapper has dubbed "The Embassy." "Because I was building it in my hometown, I wanted the structure to stand firm for 100 years," Drake told AD, adding, "It will be one of the things I leave behind, so it had to be timeless and strong." But it's maybe not quite generating the awe he expected: "Why does Drake live in a lobby" tweeted editor Silvia Killingsworth. "Airport Hilton," chipped in The Wall Street Journal's Jason Gay. Yahoo Finance's Oscar Williams-Grut accurately noted that "money can't buy taste," while another Twitter user wrote: "Drake's house decor is giving me ... cruise ship."

Ever wonder what the Full House opening credits might have looked like if the show had taken place during a pandemic? Me neither, but John Stamos and the rest of the Full House and Fuller House cast hilariously gave us a demonstration on TikTok on Wednesday afternoon. The parody video for "Full Quarantine" opens with the classic shot of the Golden Gate Bridge, and includes footage of Uncle Jesse (Stamos) primping his hair, Danny (Bob Saget) sanitizing a mop, and Uncle Joey (David Coulier) "fishing" for pizza. There are a few notable absences, too, including twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen — plus some understandable Aunt Becky (Lori Loughlin) erasure. Watch the video here.

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Does … does someone want to check on Naomi Watts? The actress posted an update from "Quarantine Day #756," reporting that her "printer, vacuum cleaner, and dishwasher" all broke down the same day. In case you needed a visualization of what exactly that level of frustration feels like, Watts posted an accompanying Instagram video of herself melting down, with her screams overdubbed by the roar of King Kong from her 2005 movie. Many of her followers were sympathetic, sharing stories about their own broken household appliances. "That's what moments like these feel like!!" Watts confirmed.

Chelsea Handler wants all her fans to be practicing proper precautions when leaving their homes, but she acknowledged that with "masks in short supply, we have to take matters into our own hands." To help out anyone who's found themselves in a bind, the comedian demoed on Instagram how to transform a bra into a face mask. "Go like this," Handler said, wrapping the undergarment around her face, "and then just hook it together, like that." Admittedly, going to the grocery store with a bra wrapped around your face could draw some stares, but Handler seemed convinced her method was good enough for anyone, "men included."

A Louisiana police department was forced to apologize on Wednesday after blaring the siren that is used in The Purge movies to signal that "all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 hours." The police in Acadia Parish are enforcing a 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. curfew due to the coronavirus, but law enforcement in the town of Crowley apparently decided to take things a step further Tuesday night by cruising the streets playing "The Purge siren." Fans of the horror series immediately caught on, and the siren elicited "over 500 comments [on Facebook] asking why the alarm was necessary," local ABC affiliate KATC reports. On Wednesday, Acadia Parish confirmed they would "not utilize any type of siren" for the curfew again.

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Jeva Lange was the executive editor at TheWeek.com. She formerly served as The Week's deputy editor and culture critic. She is also a contributor to Screen Slate, and her writing has appeared in The New York Daily News, The Awl, Vice, and Gothamist, among other publications. Jeva lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter.