Late night hosts size up Russia's Ukraine gambit, pity 1 awkwardly frozen Olympic skier

published 22 February 2022

"The Beijing Olympics are officially over," and "I'm so excited to be back, my heart is racing so fast I feel like I took pills from a Russian figure skater," Jimmy Fallon said on Monday's Tonight Show. Like fellow late-night hosts Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers, Fallon also cracked a few jokes about a Finnish skier who suffered a "frozen penis" on a race Sunday.

President Biden has been convinced Russian President Vladimir Putin has decided to invade Ukraine. "Putin's about as undecided as when a server asks if you want a side salad or fries," Fallon said. "To avoid war, French President Emanuel Macron is trying to arrange a sit-down with Biden and Putin — yep, leave it to France to settle a problem with a three-way."

"That's the French for you, always trying to start ménages à trois," Colbert joked on The Late Show. "Just hours after his surprise meeting, Putin gave a speech recognizing independence of Moscow-backed breakaway regions in eastern Ukraine and calling the eastern part of the country 'ancient Russian lands.' So they're independent but they also belong to Russia. Putin's just living the spirit of the old saying: 'If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, surround it with 190,000 troops. Then ask it again.'"

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"Biden held a meeting of the National Security Council yesterday to discuss the situation in Ukraine where they told him it's basically like washing down Taco Bell with an iced coffee: We know something's gonna happen, we just don't know when and how bad," Meyers said on Late Night. Meanwhile, "ahead of President Biden's State of the Union address, authorities in Washington, D.C., will reportedly put additional fencing around the Capitol — which is actually all you need to know about the state of the Union."

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Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.