Late night hosts size up Russia's Ukraine gambit, pity 1 awkwardly frozen Olympic skier
"The Beijing Olympics are officially over," and "I'm so excited to be back, my heart is racing so fast I feel like I took pills from a Russian figure skater," Jimmy Fallon said on Monday's Tonight Show. Like fellow late-night hosts Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers, Fallon also cracked a few jokes about a Finnish skier who suffered a "frozen penis" on a race Sunday.
President Biden has been convinced Russian President Vladimir Putin has decided to invade Ukraine. "Putin's about as undecided as when a server asks if you want a side salad or fries," Fallon said. "To avoid war, French President Emanuel Macron is trying to arrange a sit-down with Biden and Putin — yep, leave it to France to settle a problem with a three-way."
"That's the French for you, always trying to start ménages à trois," Colbert joked on The Late Show. "Just hours after his surprise meeting, Putin gave a speech recognizing independence of Moscow-backed breakaway regions in eastern Ukraine and calling the eastern part of the country 'ancient Russian lands.' So they're independent but they also belong to Russia. Putin's just living the spirit of the old saying: 'If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, surround it with 190,000 troops. Then ask it again.'"
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"Biden held a meeting of the National Security Council yesterday to discuss the situation in Ukraine where they told him it's basically like washing down Taco Bell with an iced coffee: We know something's gonna happen, we just don't know when and how bad," Meyers said on Late Night. Meanwhile, "ahead of President Biden's State of the Union address, authorities in Washington, D.C., will reportedly put additional fencing around the Capitol — which is actually all you need to know about the state of the Union."
"The National Archives confirmed last week that former President Trump improperly took classified material from the White House to his Mar-a-Lago club — also, all the copper wiring," Meyers said. "Trump yesterday launched his new social media app, Truth Social. It's supposed to revolutionize the way Americans have their data stolen."
The Late Show opened with Peppa Pig hitting back Kanye West with a dis track, and it's really something.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Trump says 25% tariffs on Canada, Mexico start Feb. 1
Speed Read The tariffs imposed on America's neighbors could drive up US prices and invite retaliation
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Trump blames diversity, Democrats for DC air tragedy
Speed Read The president suggested that efforts to recruit more diverse air traffic controllers contributed to the deadly air crash
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
White House withdraws Trump's spending freeze
Speed Read President Donald Trump's budget office has rescinded a directive that froze trillions of dollars in federal aid and sowed bipartisan chaos
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
OpenAI announces ChatGPT Gov for government use
Speed Read The artificial intelligence research company has launched a new version of its chatbot tailored for the US government
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Caroline Kennedy urges Senate to reject RFK Jr.
Speed Read Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s cousin said he should not become President Donald Trump's health secretary, calling his medical views 'dangerous'
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
GOP senator reneged on voting against Hegseth
Speed Read North Carolina senator Thom Tillis provided the deciding vote to confirm Pete Hegseth as defense secretary
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Trump sparks chaos with spending, aid freezes
Speed Read A sudden freeze on federal grants and loans by President Donald Trump's administration has created widespread confusion
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Trump feuds with Colombia on deportee flights
Speed Read Colombia has backed off from a trade war with the U.S., reaching an agreement on accepting deported migrants following tariff threats from President Donald Trump
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published