One in 10 Brits think they could beat up a chimp

Some 10% of Britons and 17% of Americans believe they would win in a fight against a chimpanzee. Researchers quizzed people in Britain and America on whether they felt they could overcome 15 animals, wild and domestic. They found that 72% of Americans but only 67% of Brits believed they could win in a fight against a rat. Meanwhile, just 6% of Americans and only 2% of Brits believed they could beat a grizzly bear. “The best advice to people facing a belligerent chimpanzee is to run away,” said The Times.

Mum rushed to hospital after dog poos in mouth

A mum was hospitalised after her daughter’s pet dog excreted in her mouth as she slept. The unhappy episode occurred when Amanda Gommo, 51, was taking an afternoon nap and the chihuahua Belle “had a violent diarrhoea explosion in her face,” explained the Daily Star. Gommo was left needing hospital treatment after contracting a gastrointestinal infection. “I've been drinking two Lucozades a day, plenty of tea and loads of water since it happened, and I'm happy to say both me and Belle are on the mend,” she said.

Squirrel shuts down branch of Greggs

A branch of Greggs closed for two days after a protected red squirrel was found living in the roof. The bakery in Pitlochry, Scotland was closed after a red squirrel was spotted. The chain said the shop would reopen once the squirrel was safely returned to woodland and the shop thoroughly cleaned. An eyewitness who photographed the squirrel in the bakery told the BBC the animal looked like it wanted to escape. “The wee thing looked a little stressed, running all around, jumping on the chairs,” Shona Rollo said.