An open letter to President-elect Donald Trump: Now that you will soon assume the awesome — and greatly expanded! — powers of the presidency, I'd like to join Jeff Bezos in sending my "big congratulations" on your crushing victory over the enemy within. Please let me echo Joe and Mika of MSNBC in offering to turn the page and re-establish a thoughtful, heartfelt dialogue with you, Dear Leader. Toward that end, I would like to offer my abject apologies for describing you in this space over the years as a demagogue, would-be autocrat, white supremacist, misogynist, and narcissist. Just a bit of colorful hyperbole, like JD Vance describing you before his own red-pill awakening as "a moral disaster" and "America's Hitler." No hard feelings, right? I would also like to express regret for the intemperate cover illustrations in this magazine that have depicted you as a caudillo, a human wrecking ball, a mob boss, an arsonist incinerating the Constitution, an insurrectionist, and a subservient stooge of Vladimir Putin. This, I see now, was treason — indeed, blasphemy. What were we thinking?
We just didn't realize that your bold new vision for removing constitutional obstacles enjoyed such popular (and divine) support. Nor did we understand that your admiration for autocrats like Putin, Kim Jong Un, and Viktor Orban would not only promote world peace, it would inspire needed reforms of our own unruly democracy! I mean, republic. Let me congratulate you for ensuring that both Congress and the Supreme Court will not become impediments to your bold, decisive leadership, and applaud the court for declaring you immune to any additional prosecution no matter what you do in coming years. Go for it! Now that we're bros, I hope I can stop by Mar-a-Lago soon to hang with you, Elon, JD, Tulsi, Tucker, RFK Jr., and the whole fun gang. BTW, I would like to buy all remaining $60 Trump Bibles as Christmas — not, ugh, "holiday" — presents for friends and family. Deus vult, sir.
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
Are car headlights are too bright?The Explainer 82% of UK drivers concerned about being ‘dazzled’ as LED bulbs become more common
-
Saudi Arabia could become an AI focal pointUnder the Radar A state-backed AI project hopes to rival China and the United States
-
What you need to know about last-minute travelThe Week Recommends You can book an awesome trip with a moment’s notice
-
No Kings rally: What did it achieve?Feature The latest ‘No Kings’ march has become the largest protest in U.S. history
-
Push for Ukraine ceasefire collapsesFeature Talks between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin were called off after the Russian president refused to compromise on his demands
-
Trump eyes regime change in VenezuelaFeature Officials believe Trump’s ‘war on narco-terrorism’ is actually a push to remove Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro
-
‘Social media is the new tabloid’Instant Opinion Opinion, comment and editorials of the day
-
How are ICE’s recruitment woes complicating Trump’s immigration agenda?TODAY’S BIG QUESTION Lowered training standards and ‘athletically allergic’ hopefuls are hindering the White House plan to turn the Department of Homeland Security into a federal police force
-
Trump vows new tariffs on Canada over Reagan adspeed read The ad that offended the president has Ronald Reagan explaining why import taxes hurt the economy
-
Donald Trump’s week in Asia: can he shift power away from China?Today's Big Question US president’s whirlwind week of diplomacy aims to bolster economic ties and de-escalate trade war with China
-
Marjorie Taylor Greene’s rebellion: Maga hardliner turns on TrumpIn the Spotlight The Georgia congresswoman’s independent streak has ‘not gone unnoticed’ by the president
