Speed Reads

why is this a thing?

New online service lets parents select baby names based on available web domain names

Some parents choose a baby name to honor a loved one, or because they like the meaning behind it. Others turn to a random website that suggests you name your kid after whatever website domains are still available, so you can screw your child up before even leaving the hospital.

Awesome Baby Name works like this: type in the baby's last name, and mark whether it's a boy, girl, or "whatever." Awesome Baby Name then trawls the internet to find what domain names are left; if your last name is something common like Jones or Lee, forget about it, your kid's going to be named Xyz or Zangela. The first 10 domain names that pop up are free, but to get 100 more it costs $3 (on sale from $9!). It's unclear just why a tiny person with no control over their bodily functions needs their own website, but Awesome Baby Name wants you to know that "domains go very quickly, so we recommend you get it as soon as possible."

The website says that at least 5,300 parents have used its services since it launched on Monday. I'm sorry, future Kasen Smith of KasenSmith.com (yep, that one's still available!). Maybe one day you can turn your site into a blog about how it feels to know your parents have iffy judgement.