Stephen Colbert imagines if Jesus tweeted like Donald Trump
Stephen Colbert kicked off Tuesday's Late Show by saying it was good to be back to work after the holidays, and noting that Congress also returned to work on Tuesday — except House Republicans, who got a head start, voting in secret on Monday to eviscerate the independent Office of Congressional Ethics. The GOP backtracked on Tuesday after intense blowback — including from President-elect Donald Trump. "Man, when Donald Trump calls you out for being unethical, that's a wake-up call," Colbert said. "That's like if Keith Richards told you to moisturize."
Colbert then turned to Trump's holiday tweeting, starting with a 140-character pat on the back Trump gave himself over America's rising consumer confidence. "That's right, Donald Trump thanked himself in the third person — Stephen Colbert thinks that's crazy," Colbert said. But he got the most mileage out of a Trump New Year's tweet wishing a good year for everyone, including his "many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don't know what to do. Love!" Colbert offered what appeared to be a charitable interpretation: "In the holiday spirit, Donald Trump is loving his enemies. It reminds me of Jesus' famous tweet: 'Suck it @PontiusPilate. I rose from the dead. @TheRealJesus is gonna live forever. Love!'"
Sadly, that was the only @TheRealJesus tweet Colbert rolled out on Tuesday — he's hoping for more in the future — but he displayed some greeting cards based on "Donald Trump's hallmark of sending well-wishes while simultaneously insulting your enemies." The last one involved Russia, and Colbert ended his monologue on Trump's continued insistence that Russia may not have tried to hack the presidential election in Trump's favor. Watch below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Today's political cartoons - October 23, 2024
Cartoons Wednesday's cartoons - loving thy neighbour, an HR matter, and more
By The Week US Published
-
Giuliani must hand assets to women he defamed
Speed Read The former New York City mayor must turn over his apartment and other possessions
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Abercrombie ex-CEO charged with sex crimes
Speed Read Mike Jeffries ran the brand during its heyday from 1992 to 2014
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76
Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproar
Speed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain Prize
Speed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?
Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
By Adrienne Wyper, The Week UK Published
-
'Oppenheimer' sweeps Oscars with 7 wins
speed read The film won best picture, best director (Christopher Nolan) and best actor (Cillian Murphy)
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
'Rust' armorer convicted of manslaughter
speed read The film's cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed by actor Alec Baldwin during rehearsal
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
The Beatles are getting 4 intersecting biopics
Speed Read Director Sam Mendes is making four separate movies, each told from the perspective of one band member
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Taylor Swift to Miley Cyrus: female artists dominate 2024 Grammys
Speed Read SZA, Phoebe Bridgers and Lainey Wilson were also among the winners at LA gala
By Arion McNicoll, The Week UK Published