Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles President Trump

Stephen Colbert sees opportunity, jokes in Trump following Emergency Kittens on Twitter

Vice President-elect Mike Pence met with Republicans in Congress on Wednesday to discuss repealing ObamaCare, and according to some congressmen at the meeting, it had the air of a "pep rally," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. "Yeah, '2, 4, 6, 8, make the poor self-medicate — gooooo [censored] yourselves!'" he chanted. Colbert was equally unimpressed with President Obama's visit to Capitol Hill to rally Democrats, saying Obama's advice that Democrats not "rescue" the GOP by helping replace ObamaCare amounted to a violation of the political Hippocratic oath. And Obama's suggestion that Democrats call the eventual replacement "TrumpCare?" "That'll show 'em," Colbert said. "Because if there's one thing Donald Trump hates, it's putting his name on things."

Colbert noted the lack of star power expected at Trump's inauguration — a dead horse? — and suggested Mitt Romney join the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, before turning to Trump's ongoing skepticism that Russia meddled in the U.S. election to his benefit. He lingered on one tweet from Tuesday in which Trump said it was "very strange!" that his "'intelligence' briefing on so-called 'Russian hacking' was delayed until Friday." "Yes, I agree, 'very strange' — for the future commander in chief to use sarcastic quotations about the intelligence agencies he will soon rely on," Colbert said, reminding Trump: "In two weeks, you'll be 'president' of the 'United' States. You're going to have to get 'facts' from your intelligence services to keep 'enemies' from 'killing' 'us' 'all'!"

Colbert ended his monologue by noting that over the weekend, Trump started following the Twitter account Emergency Kittens, featuring adorable cat photos and memes. "That must be strange for Trump to see," Colbert said, showing a photo of a kitten latching on to a man's hand. "I mean, a man being grabbed by a pussy? It's so unusual." He ran with that joke for a while, then said: "I think we've got a real opportunity here. I say we need to create a Twitter account with actual emergency kittens — adorable cats with vital information for the new president, like: 'Global warming could make ocean levels rise up to two feet by the end of the century? I'm 'feline' scared!'" Sadly, the @REALemrgencykittens account isn't real (yet), but the last mock tweet Colbert showed was a real crowd-pleaser. Watch below. Peter Weber