"Last night was a monumental election that fundamentally shifts the balance of power in Washington, D.C., for years to come — and it is not the top story," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. "Because today, Trump fired his attorney general, Jeff Sessions." He elaborated with a long Edgar Allan Poe joke. "Now there's some confusion among stupid people as to whether Sessions was fired or he resigned," Colbert said. "He did submit a letter of resignation, but it began: 'At your request, I am submitting my resignation.'"
Trump clearly fired Sessions because he recused himself from the Russia investigation, and Colbert kind of came to his defense: "You can't blame Sessions for recusing himself — it's the only thing that's good that he's ever done. It's like hating Lou Bega for 'Mambo No. 5.'" Colbert gave his stand-in for Sessions a chance to say farewell, then crushed him.
Then Colbert got down to brass tacks. With Sessions out, "who on Earth would be willing to go down in history as the man who stepped in to fire Robert Mueller?" he asked. "Enter new Acting Attorney General and Caucasian M&M Matt Whitaker. Now there is no way to know Whitaker's stance on the Mueller investigation — unless you read his op-ed, 'Mueller's investigation of Trump is going too far,' in which Whitaker wrote that if Mueller looks into Trump's finances, it 'could be damaging to the president of the United States ... and by extension, to the country.' And by 'the country,' of course, he means Russia."
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"So Trump just hand-picked a guy who wants to stop the investigation into Donald Trump to be in charge of the investigation of Donald Trump," Colbert recapped, comparing that to a murder suspect choosing his own judge. He used a telling tweet from Whitaker to imagine his first day on the job. Watch below. Peter Weber
-
7 mountain hotels perfect for a tranquil autumn or winter escapeThe Week Recommends Get (altitude) high and unwind
-
‘Deskilling’: a dangerous side effect of AI useThe explainer Workers are increasingly reliant on the new technology
-
The biggest sports betting scandals in historyIn Depth The recent indictments of professional athletes were the latest in a long line of scandals
-
Hungary’s Krasznahorkai wins Nobel for literatureSpeed Read László Krasznahorkai is the author of acclaimed novels like ‘The Melancholy of Resistance’ and ‘Satantango’
-
Primatologist Jane Goodall dies at 91Speed Read She rose to fame following her groundbreaking field research with chimpanzees
-
Florida erases rainbow crosswalk at Pulse nightclubSpeed Read The colorful crosswalk was outside the former LGBTQ nightclub where 49 people were killed in a 2016 shooting
-
Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's illsSpeed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
-
Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, StalloneSpeed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
-
White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's viewSpeed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
-
Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talkSpeed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
-
CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year
