Speed Reads

Nice work if you can get it

How will 'financially independent' Prince Harry earn a living? Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert have ideas.

The surprise announcement by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the duke and duchess of Sussex, that they are stepping down as "senior" members of Britain's royal family, will split their time between the U.K. and North America, and are going to get jobs was big news in the British press — and also, apparently, news to the queen, Harry's grandmother.

"Do you have any idea what that means?!" Stephen Colbert asked on The Late Show. "Because I have no idea what that means. There are 'senior' levels of royal?" What is clear is that "de-crowning themselves will bring some big life changes, because it will enable Harry and Meghan to work for money, something they currently can't do," he added. "This is great. She's an actress. This means Meghan Markle can go back to Suits — and Harry can sell them at Mens Wearhouse."

"Being a member of the royal family has always been one of the sweetest gigs you can have," but "Harry and Meghan are leaving the palace to become 'financially independent,'" Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. "You see, this is what happens when you bring the first black woman into the royal family. Yeah, she looked at Harry and she was, like, 'N----r, you need to get a job. ... You can't still be living in your mama's house, Harry.'"

"Now the big question is, if Meghan and Harry come to America, where are they gonna live?" Noah said. "I think they'll move to L.A., because Meghan is an actor, and she's gonna want to work again. And then Harry can just join the cast of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."

In real life, an unidentified aide told Britain's Daily Mail that Harry and Meghan have "no clue" how they will become "financially independent." But the couple will keep their Frogmore Cottage home and their police protection, the Mail huffs. Harry also gets millions from Prince Charles' estate every year and inherited millions from his late mother, Princess Diana, and great grandmother; Markle earned millions from her acting career; and the couple "may also be able to make money from merchandise. In the past few weeks, the couple have trademarked their Sussex royal brand on more than 100 items, from T-shirts, books, and magazines to teaching materials and emotional support groups."