Speed Reads

terrible metaphor alert

Pelosi and Schumer awkwardly describe competing stimulus bills as animals 'unable to mate'

Congress' leading Democrats have provided Americans with some terrible mental imagery.

Democrats and Republicans are sparring over a coronavirus relief bill to replace the phase three CARES Act that will expire in just two days. But as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) described Tuesday, the parties' competing visions are nowhere near ready to come together.

Pelosi described the two parties' ideals as "a giraffe and a flamingo" during a Tuesday meeting with Schumer, White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, an Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, Politico reports. "They're both at a zoo. A dumb person may think they could mate for offspring. A smart person knows that's impossible. That's our bills. They're unable to mate."

If that metaphor wasn't clear enough, Schumer surely drove the point home with one of his own. "A golden retriever can't mate with a Chihuahua. You have a Chihuahua. We have a beautiful lion," he said, Politico reports via people in the room. "Pelosi then helpfully reminded Schumer that a lion is a cat, so, no, they could not mate," Politico writes.

Schumer did get one part of the metaphor wrong: Golden retrievers and Chihuahuas can mate. Don't think about the how and enjoy this adorable picture of the uncommon mix.