Feature

The Week contest — Wearable tech

Please invent another type of truly useful, wearable tech

Last week's contest: A Japanese company has come up a high-tech bra called the True Love Tester that can only be unhooked when built-in heart-rate sensors detect true love. Please invent another type of useful, wearable tech.

RESULTS:

THE WINNER: Gloves that allow you to text only when soberGregory Pinto, Saratoga Springs, N.Y.SECOND PLACE: Self-jogging sneakersBarbara Plath, Peru, Ind.THIRD PLACE: A bow tie that closes the esophagus when overeating is detectedDick LaVine, New York City

HONORABLE MENTIONS:Pants that rise when the butt crack is exposed Frank Letchworth, KnoxvilleA hat that stimulates your hippocampus and helps you remember people’s namesJanine Witte, New Hope, Pa.Date jacket — similar to straitjacket, to be worn by whoever is dating my daughterKristen Pavlik, Laurel, Md.Dental fillings that keep you from opening your mouth when they sense you are about to say something stupidCheryl Old, San DiegoBlack socks that signal when you try to wear them with Bermuda shortsKenneth R. Updegrove, Cedaredge, Colo.An American flag lapel pin worn by politicians that beeps loudly when they are dissemblingStephen Millich, Monterey, Calif.A shirt collar that turns fluorescent pink when within six inches of a doughnutJohn Sasso, Grand Junction, Colo.A bracelet that buzzes when plaids are worn with stripes Ivan Kershner, Salem, S.C.A calorie detector that clamps the mouth shut at 2500 calories for the dayDavid McEnerney, Seymour, Conn.Bright floral shirt that can be put on only when GPS detects you’re in HawaiiAaron Malver, SeattleClothing that gives a slight shock every time the wearer uses the word “like” more than once in a sentenceCarol Goodin, Tiburon, Calif.Earmuffs that deaden the voice of your spouseBernard Bernstein, Pasadena, Md.Congressional dental retainer: Permits wearer to speak only when sensors detect measurable IQMark Cass, San DiegoA wristwatch that actually tells timeRussell Taichman, Ann Arbor, Mich.A talking waistband with snide remarks about expanding too quicklyRR Vagnini, Atascadero, Calif.A jock strap that can only be unlocked when the wearer is truly ready to be a good husband and fatherSusan Strasburg, Elkridge, Md.A collar that delivers electric correction whenever husband turns head to look at cute girlBarbara James, Bedford, Mass.A pair of pants that ejects you from the recliner when you’ve watched enough snowboardingWynell Perkins, Murphy, TexasA sprinkler system that extinguishes hot flashesPauline Walle, Rochester, Minn.Contact lenses that keep the eyelids open when the user is asleep during a meetingDaniel Peterson, Clackamas, Ore.Panties that won’t come off until a ring goes onJan Penske, Sellersburg, Ind.Pants that auto stretch on ThanksgivingAngela James, Westminster, Md.A watch that tells you when your anniversary isHidehiro Anto, Mountain View, Calif.

Recommended

10 things you need to know today: June 22, 2021
Ebrahim Raisi
Daily briefing

10 things you need to know today: June 22, 2021

Philippines' Duterte warns he'll jail people who refuse the COVID-19 vaccine
Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte on a visit to China.
that's one idea

Philippines' Duterte warns he'll jail people who refuse the COVID-19 vaccine

Iran's president-elect says he won't meet with Biden
Ebrahim Raisi.
all eyes on iran

Iran's president-elect says he won't meet with Biden

Olympics to allow up to 10,000 Japanese spectators
Olympic Rings
Tokyo Olympics

Olympics to allow up to 10,000 Japanese spectators

Most Popular

Covering for Trump?
Merrick Garland and Donald Trump.
Picture of Ryan CooperRyan Cooper

Covering for Trump?

7 toons about the Dems' Joe Manchin problem
Political Cartoon.
Feature

7 toons about the Dems' Joe Manchin problem

Bernie Sanders wants to know if cannabis reporter is 'stoned' right now
Bernie Sanders.
Sounds dope

Bernie Sanders wants to know if cannabis reporter is 'stoned' right now