An arrow armed with pot
A Washington state man was arrested after he allegedly strapped a bag of marijuana to an arrow and shot it into a prison. Authorities said that David Wayne Jordan tried to shoot the arrow into an exercise yard at the Whatcom County Jail, but overshot the target, with his special delivery landing on a roof. When Jordan, 36, was arrested, he claimed he’d been trying to hit a squirrel. “He had no explanation as to why squirrel hunting requires attaching marijuana to an arrow,” said Sheriff Bill Elfo.

Jennifer Lopez goes ballistic
Jennifer Lopez slashed her boy toy’s monthly allowance after she caught him gossiping to the press, said the National Enquirer. The 44-year-old singer went ballistic when her dancer boyfriend, Casper Smart, 26, told an interviewer that Lopez was returning to TV’s American Idol next season as a judge. “Jennifer caught hell from Idol producers” over the leak, said a source. As punishment, Lopez cut Smart’s $10,000 monthly allowance by 25 percent. “Casper doesn’t understand the business,” said the source. “It’s beginning to dawn on her that he’s a liability.”

A wheelchair that spits fire
An Arizona inventor has built a customized wheelchair fitted with a flamethrower. Lance Greathouse, an engineer who makes “pimped” scooters for disabled people, spent $1,000 assembling the wheelchair out of spare parts. Its flamethrower spits out a blast of fire that extends 35 feet. “I love fire and wheelchairs, so I thought, why not put them together?” said Greathouse, 52. “I would like to see some street gang member mess with someone in one of my chairs.”