Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Freedom of religion, after the Department of Veterans Affairs authorized U.S. soldiers who identify as Norse neopagans to have Thor’s hammer etched on their gravestones.

Freedom from religion, after Guantánamo Bay officials told a congressional delegation that the erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey—not the Koran—was the book most requested by the camp’s high-value detainees. “There’s not much going on, these guys are going nowhere, so what the hell,” said Rep. Jim Moran.

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Fish tales, after the Kremlin posted a video purporting to show Russian President Vladimir Putin catching a monster 46-pound pike while vacationing in Siberia. “I wonder what is the name of the diver who put [it] on his hook,” said one Russian blogger.

Bad week for:

Doing what you love, after Minnesota tax officials hit transsexual musician Venus DeMars with $3,000 in back taxes by denying her deductions for expenses. Officials said DeMars took too much pleasure from her performances to be considered a professional.

The Indian military, after it spent six months investigating what it thought were 155 violations of its airspace by Chinese spy drones or UFOs, only to discover that the mysterious bright objects were, in fact, Jupiter and Venus.

Pranks, after a practical joker unleashed a noxious combination of deer repellent and fart spray into two cabins at a Bible camp in Maryland. Six campers were hospitalized, and a local Hazmat team was summoned “to help dissipate the strong odor.”