The Week contest: Tax exemptions

Welcome to "What Next?", The Week's contest about current events.

Click here for the results of the previous contest: Spitzer's comeback

Last week’s question: An economist who claimed a "religious objection" to paying taxes was recently sentenced to four years in prison for cheating the IRS out of $1.67 million over 20 years. Now that you know you can’t play the religion card, please invent a more convincing rationale for not paying your taxes.

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Results:

THE WINNER: I already rendered unto Caesar—at his Palace in Vegas

Brian Peppard, Oak Park, IL

SECOND PLACE: Goods & services not as advertised

Steve McConnell, Walpole, MA

THIRD PLACE: My 9-year-old grandson would spend it more wisely

Bill O’Meara, Bedford, NH

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Filling out a 1040 violates our Fifth Amendment rights

Charles & Mary Parry, Catonsville, MD

My Swiss bank account has an early withdrawal penalty

Nick Vaci, Columbus, OH

I live in the Moscow airport international terminal

Paul Johnsen, Hartford, WI

Money may talk, but I have a constitutional right to remain silent

Frank Letchworth, Knoxville, TN

Ain’t got no money

William Dean, Oakland, CA

I’m planning to donate it to the IRS legal defense fund, given the recent scandal

Ken Kellam III, Dallas, TX

My dog ate my 1040

John Whitehead, Kirkland, AZ

My dog ate my money

Wes Conary, Uncasville, CT

It’s a free country

Raven Deerwater, Mendocino, CA

Why pay taxes when the government keeps printing all the money it needs anyway?

Sue Zajac, Eagle River, AL

I gave at the office

Harvey Randall, Niskayuna, NY

I am a nonprofit organization

Angela James, Westminster, MD

I’ve already been robbed once this year

Kenneth R. Updegrove, Cedaredge, CO

I’m Timothy Geithner

Angela Fiedler, Milwaukee, WI

Money talks, so paying taxes is an unconstitutional infringement on free speech

Lawrence Stone, San Diego, CA

I thought the Republicans reduced my taxes to zero

Darrell Chalstrom, South Bend, IN

My family voted to sequester the funds

Eric A. McVadon, Great Falls, VA

Confirmed vegetarian refuses to support the government’s pork barrel projects

Eve Bauschek, Appleton, WI

The 1 percent hardly pays taxes, so why should I?

Nancy Alpern, Neptune, NJ

Living with the current Congress is taxing enough

John M. Carney, Bend, OR

My iPhone doesn’t have an app for taxes

Lisa de Groot, Richmond, VA

I don’t like my job

Chris Wilhelmi, Chicago, IL

Peanut allergy: Paying taxes would leave me with nothing but peanuts, which would be harmful to my health

Audrey Nagel, Burlington, NJ

Just discovered the IRS won’t accept Bitcoins

Barry D. Friedman, Dahlonega, GA

I’m a bank CEO—that tax money was just coming back to me anyway

Ryan Artola, Sunnyvale, CA

All my money is tied up in the Cayman Islands Children’s Hospital

Paul Buchheit, Chicago, IL