Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Extraterrestrial rumors, after NASA scientists said that the Curiosity rover on Mars had made a discovery “for the history books” that will be withheld until it’s double-checked. The speculation is that Curiosity found organic compounds—the building blocks of life—in Martian soil.

Pre-emptive strikes, after a kamikaze turkey sent a message to carnivores in Sheboygan, Wis., five days before Thanksgiving by flying into a power line and knocking out power for 1,500 people.

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Having no conscience, after guard Jack Taylor of Grinnell College in Iowa set a new college basketball scoring record with 138 points in his team’s 179–104 victory over Faith Baptist Bible. Taylor chucked up 108 shots, including 71 three-point attempts.

Bad week for:

Rupert Murdoch, after the media baron wondered on Twitter, “Why is Jewish owned press so consistently anti-Israel in every crisis?” He later tweeted, “Apologize unreservedly.”

Nativity scenes, after Pope Benedict XVI says in his new book that there were no oxen, donkeys, or other animals at Jesus’s birth. The pope also says the entire Christian calendar is based on a sixth-century monk’s miscalculation of when Jesus was born.

Birther jokes, after the Helena Independent Record, a Montana newspaper, printed a story with the line, “Obama was allegedly born in Hawaii.” A copy editor added the word “allegedly” as a joke, “thinking that the other copy editor would catch it,” an editor’s note later explained. “He didn’t.”