The Week contest - Dumb bumper

Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for the results of the previous contest: Future cars

Last week's question: A car bearing the bumper sticker, “Why am I the only person the on the planet who knows how to drive?” ran into a guardrail, flipped over, and left the driver with non-life-threatening injuries, including embarrassment. We asked you to come up with the second-dumbest bumper sticker someone could possibly affix to his or her car.

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RESULTS:

THE WINNER: I am the One Percent!

Deb Matthews, Dunwoody, GA

SECOND PLACE: If You Are Close Enough to Read This, Get Your Ugly Motorcycle Gang Away From My Car

Joel Greenspan, Atlanta, GA

THIRD PLACE: No Police Raises!

Steven L. Rosenhaus, Forest Hills, NY

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Semi's Suck!

Joe (Hollis) Nichols, Lake Wylie, SC

How's My Texting?

Mandy Smith, Cincinnati, OH

How's My Driving? Text 1-800-555-1234

Clare Slager, Zeeland, MI

Ask me about my contraband.

Dallas Lea, Poughkeepsie, NY

Honk if You Love Goldman Sachs

Adam Turteltaub, Encino, CA

Honk if You Like My Driving

Daniel Garden, Flushing, NY

Honk If You're Texting

Liz Schruender, San Diego, CA

Quit Honking —I Can't Hear My Phone!

Bob Setterberg, Portland, OR

Real Drivers Multi-task :)

Wendy LaBounty, Pleasant Hill, CA

If This Van’s Rockin', It Probably Means My Captive Has Loosened His Restraints

Larry Brown, Waterloo, ON

My Son Had Perfect Attendance, 1991-2001, at Fulsom State

Charlie Hall, Orangevale, CA

Driver Carries More Than $100 in Cash

David Hall, Pittsfield, MA

Got a Bottle Opener?

Frank Morra, New York, NY

If You Can See My Expired Tags, You Are Driving Too Close

James Doyle, Topsham, ME

Off the Pigs!

Mort Oakes, Dover, PA

No Stupid Cop is Going to Catch Me Speeding!

Tim Sebastian, Medford, OR

Honk if You Had Sex with My Honor Student

Barb Connelly, Mahtomedi, MN

I Brake for Patrol Cars

H.B. Stultz, Jr., East Stroudsburg, PA

I Only Get Warnings

Kurt von Kampen, Seward, NE

Parole Manson!

Joe McManus, Spring Hill, FL

My Other Bumper Sticker is Humorous

Doug Hundley, Willits, CA

If You Drive Any Closer You Could Read What I'm Texting

Vincent Marella, Cherry Hill, NJ

Don't Blame Me – I Didn't Bother to Vote

Paul Roberts, Blacksburg, SC

Dude, Where's My Car?

Noriko Fujiwara, Longmont, CO

Don't Like My Driving? So Shoot Me!

Doug Johnson, Roslyn, WA

My Other Hummer is a Hummer

Ned Coates, Cogan Station, PA

Re-Elect Congress!

Barbara James, Bedford, MA