Good week for:
Buying your boss a treadmill, after a Northern Illinois University study found that managers who exercise regularly are noticeably less nasty than those who don’t.
Drinking on the job, after the Florida Department of Law Enforcement revealed that it had spent $330 on alcohol, mixers, and Doritos for 15 employees to get drunk. The department says it was testing the accuracy of its Breathalyzers.
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Irony, after passengers who were on the Costa Concordia said that the Celine Dion song “My Heart Will Go On”—the theme song of the 1997 film Titanic—was playing in one of the Italian cruise ship’s restaurants when it hit a rock and began to sink.
Bad week for:
Making amends, after owners of the Costa Concordia offered survivors of the ordeal a 30 percent discount on their next cruise “if they want to stay loyal to the company.”
John Kerry, the senator from Massachusetts, after he broke his nose and suffered two black eyes while playing ice hockey. “He must feel like Mitt Romney after South Carolina,” said his spokeswoman.
Rewriting history, after Tennessee Tea Party activists demanded that the state legislature change curricula and textbooks to omit negative views of the Founding Fathers. Teachers should stop repeating “an awful lot of made-up criticism about, for instance, the Founders intruding on the Indians or having slaves or being hypocrites,” said a Tea Party spokesman.
